Life As I Know It

Life: The ABC's of me

2011-03-25T10:35:00.000-05:00

ABC's of Me

A-Age: 37

B-Bed size: Queen (wish I had a king though)

C-Chore you hate: Folding & hanging clothes

D-Dogs: None

E-Essential start to your day: Coffee, enough said

F-Favorite Color: Red - it is my signature color

G-Gold or Silver: typically silver but sometimes gold

H-Height: 5'6"

I-Instruments you play: None, I wasn't really musically gifted

J-Job title: Administrative Assistant (Extraordinaire)

K-Kids: None of my own but lots of "rentals" :)

L-Live: in a suburb of Dallas but wish I didn't...I hate the "big city"

M-My mom's name: Kay

N-Nickname: Mel...Lissa...Sasi...Ye-Ye, and the newest one, Rex

O-Overnight hospital stay: Nope. Well, I think I did when I was like, 4...

P-Pet Peeve: Know-It-All's, people who mispronounce words (it's library, not liberry)

Q-Quote from a movie: "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion"

R-Right/Lefty: Right

S-Siblings: I have 3 sisters

T-Time you wake up: 5:30-6 o'clock...ugh

U-Underwear: um, I own some?

V-Veggies you dislike: Broccoli

W-What makes you run late: TRAFFIC, always stupid traffic

X-Xrays you've had: Left knee, twice, chest (for the pneumonia) and dental

Y-Yummy food you make: everything :-)

Z-Zoo animals: Lions and tigers and bears - oh my!

Life: Where I'm wondering

2011-03-21T11:39:00.000-05:00

I'm wondering what is the craziest thing people have done for love? Or potential love? Moved cross country? Across the world? When you look at it like that, moving down an interstate by 2 hours doesn't seem so crazy. I know I keep coming back to the subject of moving and being closer to Josh but I don't know what else to do. Our relationship will never grow or get better if I don't move. But what if I do and it doesn't work out? What if it does? To borrow a line from Miranda Lambert, "I guess if you don't jump, you'll never if you can fly". I will catch so much grief from people if I move but the bottom line is, it's MY life. Not theirs. It's mine to live and mine to change and mine to screw up. Or not live or not change or not screw up. I just have to make a decision.

Do I or don't I?

Life: Where the iPhone is magic and he saw me cry

2011-03-19T12:33:00.000-05:00

So I saw Josh for the first time in I don't want to talk about it and it was, unfortunately, really good to see him. I say unfortunately because I am supposed to be mad at him. I want to be mad at him for being such a "guy" lately and I was mad until I saw him and he hugged me and took me to dinner. Jerk. How do they do that??

We had, as usual, a great time together and I found it hilarious how quickly he took to my old iPhone that is now his "new iTouch". He, at my direction, (and I know he secretly hated that I knew more than him about this), downloaded iTunes to his laptop because he can't do squat without it and got to getting addicted to his new toy. He figured out rather fast how to get rid of all my stuff on there and put his stuff on there. He has his own apps now, his own stupid boy type games (guns, deer hunting, etc.) and some that I had that he actually liked. He was browsing apps and said "There is an app for Target??" and I happily grabbed my phone, went to the 4th page of my apps and showed him that "yes, they do". He laughed at that and said he should've known. This went on for the next hour or so. Him trying to figure out how to get his music from his computer to the phone, me telling him what to do, him brushing me off and then him doing exactly what I tried telling him and him getting all happy when it worked. I was lying next to him saying things under my breath like "duh" and "hello?" and generally being a smarta$$ about it all and loving it :-)

We spent the next couple of hours just hanging out and being all cuddly and crap and it was fine and then he had to leave. Not good. I didn't want him to leave. I told him that. He didn't want to leave either but he had to. I tried to get him to stay, I even threatened to tie him down but I didn't have any rope. So much to my chagrin, he starts putting his socks and boots on and I started getting sad. Again, not good. So we head out to his truck and he comes around from the passenger side, walks to me and hugs me. That's when it started...I started crying. He asked me if I was OK and I told him no. I managed to squeak out "I hate this, I hate living apart from you" and I stopped at that because I was about to go into the ugly cry. He assured me things would get better, that it has been a really hard year for him (it has, I'll give him that), and everything will work out. I told him I didn't meant to go all Girl on him and he said it was OK, he hugged me again, I tried to not let go, he kissed me and then he got in the truck. For the 3rd time, not good. He knew I was not handling this well, he reached out, grabbed my hand, asked me if I was going to be OK and at that point, I could barely look at him so I nodded my head "yes" and that was about it because I could feel the ugly cry coming on again and I was trying to keep it together. I just looked at him, kissed him real quick and left it at that. I waited until I was back inside to unleash the ugly cry.

This morning? I woke up sad. I miss him. Badly. Damn it.

Feeling a bit smug today

2011-03-04T10:40:00.000-06:00

OK, a lot smug. So you can call me Smuggy McSmuggerson.

I found out last night that a guy I sort of dated last year, the one that just got married a few weeks ago (see post below about "it happening again", married a crazy woman. He knew if before he proposed and he really knows it now. But that isn't what I am all smuggy about. I am smuggy about the fact that he told my friend (and his ex-wife) that his "biggest mistake was not dating Melissa" and that he "could kick himself for not staying with me".

Um, duh. I could have told you that.

But alas, he was dumb and now the Good Ship Melissa-Pop has sailed. And he missed out.

Sad too because, while our spark was more of a flicker to me, I could tell towards the end that if we had stayed the course that we were on, spending time together and talking and hanging out, that flicker might have lit up and turned into something more. .

Oh well. I wish him well and if it is Splitsville for him and his new bride, and it looks like it may go there sooner rather than later, I wish him an easy one. He's a good guy and doesn't deserve the giant heaps of crazy she has served up.

LIFE: Where I want to start over

2011-02-24T15:14:00.000-06:00

Is starting over an option?

I was thinking. If I were to move to another town and "start over", would that be crazy? I mean, what is so wrong with that? Sure, I'd be a couple of hours away from my family and friends but 2 hours is easy. Sure I would be in a whole new town which entails figuring out your way around and all that but that can be adventurous. There would be new stores to shop in, new places to eat at and new things to do for fun. I can explore a new city and that really does sound fun. Work has been tough lately too. Lots of issues and changes. My job is OK I think as far as keeping it or whatever but lately, it's been tough to deal with. The workload, the people, the constant drama. Would it be so wrong to throw my pen down and walk out of my office?

I don't know what is wrong with me but I sort of feel like doing something to shake it up. I am feeling a little stagnant. Did I spell that right? Maybe I am just in a funk and need to snap out of it. Maybe it's the weather? Maybe once I see some green grass and flowers again I will feel better? Who knows. But in the meantime, I have 3 & 1/2 months to find a new place to live be it here or somewhere else. Wish me luck.

LIFE: Where it has happened again

2010-12-27T10:16:00.000-06:00

Just when I thought I had made it through another holiday relatively unscathed...

Someone got engaged and it wasn't me.

I know J & I have only been back together for almost 5 months but still, a girl can't help but wonder if and it will ever happen. I should have asked Santa for patience this Christmas because clearly, I am out.

Now can we just fast forward to New Years Day or even the day after?

LIFE: Where I hate

2010-10-21T16:58:00.000-05:00

Seriously. I am hating a lot of things. Some are real and some are fluff but I am over them all the same.

I hate traffic and commuting. I hate living in the "Dallas" area. Dallas sucks. Yeah there are a million and one things to do and yes, more malls and restaurants than the entire state of probably, well...I don't know, pick a state.

I hate being broke. Yes, I needed a car but not necessarily the car payment. I am not famous so I can't just get a car nor do I have a sugar daddy that will buy me one. The car payment is eating up a lot of what was my "play money". Not to mention a higher cost of gas because the tank is bigger.

I hate that my nails all decided to break and since cutting them off, they don't seem to be re-growing.

I hate that Jimmie Johnson is positioned to win his 5th straight NASCAR championship. Enough already. We get it. You're good. It's time to share the wealth.

I hate that my insurance costs will be higher in 2011.

I hate that I found out this week that a guy I knew in high school that was dearly loved by everyone, was killed, it seems like, at the hands of his girlfriend. If he was the Popcorn I knew in HS, there would be absolutely no reason for that but I have to wonder, in this day and age, in the last 20 years, if he had gotten into a life that wasn't so good. Did something happen to make him a different Popcorn?

I hate that the Texas Rangers are not yet headed to the World Series.

I hate living so far away from J. Things are going really good with us and I just wish we could spend more time together. He mentioned me moving out there closer to him and while I think it's insane (I mean, dude still hasn't met my mom or best friend), I got to thinking...there's nothing saying I can't move a little closer to him, say, to a town about 30 minutes from him and not quite as far from home. You know, for myself. To "start over" if you will. A smaller town. A slower pace. A shorter commute. A new place to explore. Possibly with the one person I know that lives there. Why not? I mean, I'm not totally convinced but I sure am thinking about it. It might be crazy but it might be a good thing. I am still chewing on it. It would entail finding a job and an apartment and doing it all in order. I mean, do I find a job first and hope I find an apartment? Or apartment first then a job? How do I know what to do when?

I also hate that I could probably keep blogging but I won't because frankly, it's depressing. I need to "suck it up, buttercup!" and figure out ways to change things I hate into things I like or at least change them enough to take them off the list :)

Adios!!
Melissa

P.S. - Hopefully Friday night, I can come back here and blog about loving the fact that the Rangers ARE headed to the World Series.

LIFE: Where I've re-connected with an old flame

2010-08-04T23:37:00.000-05:00

Anyone remember, J? My cop ex-boyfriend? Yep. We're talking again. I know, right? Weird.

See, what had happened wuz...

Way back right around Christmas, I was in a funky funk. I was depressed and hormonal and single and sad. I had been thinking about him so I decided to email him and tell him so. He replies back a week or two later and says, much to my surprise, that he'd been thinking about me too. Wha? Srsly? So, I tell him that I would to talk and catch up and call me sometime. That was January 4th.

Fast forward to the morning of July 30th and there it was. Just sitting in my inbox. An email from him. He'd written to let me know that he was going to be in a nearby town and would I maybe like to meet up. After I finally closed my wide opened jaw, I decided to text him later and tell him yes, I would like to meet up. I mean, why not? It's been over a year since we broke up, it should be fine. Right?

Well. It was fine. Except I didn't meet up with him the night he had emailed. Instead, it was on Saturday night when I felt compelled to drive an hour and a half to see him. Without telling him I was coming until I was almost there, by the way. He told me to go to the police station and he'd meet me there. So I did. And he did. What happened next is still kind of hard for me to wrap my brain around. I was nervous. He hugged me. We talked and caught up for a few and I went riding around with him like I used to and really caught up with the chit chat then. It was weird but kind of nice. There was no awkard "why did you break up with me?" talk or anything like that. I think we were genuinely happy to see each other. Then, the big kicker at the end of the night? He says, out of the blue, "I need to do something". I thought he meant related to work. Oh no. He turns, grabs me and wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for what seemed like, well, forever. It was sweet. Then...we might have made out like a couple of high school kids. But he started it! He totally kissed me first! But it was different. He was so sweet about it and just being, well, almost borderline "romantic", or as romantic one can get in a small town police station at 2 in the morning. (God, how country am I?) I know I sound totally gross sharing all that but I'm telling you, it was different. There was something about him that was different.

Anyway, we finally stopped making out and I had to get on the road to home. It was after 3am and I had to drive over an hour home. He made me promise him I'd be careful and to let him know when I got home and I did all that. Then we talked briefly Sunday night and when I told him that it was still kind of weird that all that happened, he said "if it wasn't meant to happen, it wouldn't have". But what exactly happened? What was he referring to? What was "it"? The kissing? Me coming to see him after all this time? Who knows. I'm not sure what will come of all this. I just plan on taking it day by day. If it comes down to us possibly getting back together, we will have to talk about things first but I suppose I should wait and see if it comes to that.

On that long-winded note, I am headed to bed. Melissa out!

LIFE: Where I want to meet an Olympian

2010-07-28T20:36:00.000-05:00

So I follow Misty May-Treanor on Facebook. You know who she is right? Two-time Olympic gold medalist in beach volleyball? She is made of awesome. Anyway, she is having a clinic in San Antonio in October and normally, volleyball clinics are for younger folks but NOT THIS TIME. There is one for adults. That would be me! Score!! But now I need to come up with a spare $125 to pay for it. $125 on top of paying for my part of the beach condo for our All Girls Beach Vacation, rent, other bills and the single girls groceries. Not too easy. Do they still pay for plasma?

But seriously. How freaking cool would it be to get tips and pointers from her? An actual Olympian and one of the best female volleyball players EVER. I'm not in a super competitive league, I just play in a co-ed church league but if I got to play with Misty May-Treanor? You can bet I'd use that as a selling point to try and find a competitive team to play with! I have GOT to think of something! I need to do this.

TTYL, internets!

LIFE: Where I hope to date

2010-06-07T23:51:00.000-05:00

So I finally did it. I joined an online dating site. EHarmony to be exact. I paid $60! for a months time of THEM trying to find ME someone to date or "connect with". I hope it's worth it. I'd like to get a little something for money, a little bang for my buck so to speak. And by "something" and "little bang", I mean dinner or coffee, you dirty dirty minded people.

I just need to suck it up and put myself out there more. I am tired of being single but more than that, I am tired of being single, bitching about it but not really doing anything to change it. I honestly don't think that my Mr. Right is just gonna drop out of the sky into my life, ya know? So, here we are. Online dating. Plus, I kind of want a certain someone, who refuses to look at me as anything more than a FWB, to squirm a little.

So internets world and anyone who reads this, wish me luck. Shake dem chicken bones, do a dance or whatever it takes to get me a date!!

LIFE: Where I ramble

2010-06-03T10:44:00.000-05:00

I need to blog more. Not that anyone reads it but sometimes, it's a good outlet for thoughts and feelings I don't need the entire world of Facebook or something knowing. The few people I know that read me from time to time are OK but practically my entire family and one person in particular that I need to sort of vent about? Not so much.

Anywho...

Not much has gone on since my last post. We have planned 2 trips though. We are Guadalupe River bound for the 4th of July! I cannot wait to plop my big bootie down in my tube and float the day away. One hand on my tube and the other on cans of Bud Light! Come on July:

Our second trip? GULF SHORES/ORANGE BEACH ALABAMA!! The pisser of course, is A.) it's not until October and B.) the damn oil catastrophe. I am praying hard that they can get it covered/closed very soon so they can start the process of getting my precious Gulf's water cleaned up.

On the personal front? Same old thing. Still looking for Mr. Right and am baffled over Mr. Right Now. He's confusing me and I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with it. I have decided that having a Mr. Right Now is completely overrated. Most of the time, I am 100% OK with being single but then those moments, the ones that make it glaringly and painfully obvious that you are single, happen. Like 3 different cousins getting engaged/married and getting the info via a surprise invitation in the mail and status & relationship changes on freaking Facebook. I guess I'm going to have to really kick it up a notch.

What else? I'm trying like heck to drop weight and it sucks and it's struggle but right now? It's working. Since the beginning of April, I am down like, 13 pounds or something. All the walking and all the volleyball is finally starting to pay off. It also helps that I have a new WW leader that totally gets me and we had a Come To Jesus type talk and it helped immensely. She is my personal Jillian (from The Biggest Loser) minus all the sadistic workouts. I am 11 pounds from a HUGE personal goal I have and I need it to happen. So wish me luck whoever might see this!!

OK internets, until then...

LIFE: Where I want take trips!

2010-03-17T12:01:00.000-05:00

I want to start planning a trip. An all girls trip with friends and my sisters. But I'm torn. I would love to go back to NYC and this time, with my friend Cindy in tow. I really think she would like it. See, she is a musical girl and can sometimes be all about a show and singing and stuff, so I think taking her to Broadway and seeing Chicago or something would rock her face off. Mine too since we didn't get to see a show in October. And it's New York. Central Park. Times Square. Awesome bridges and all that. I really think she would like it. And it can totally be done way cheaper than people imagine I think. I gotta work on her :) But look, don't these cool pics make you want to go?

Then, I kind of like the idea of Vegas. Everyone I know has been saying we need to go. It's supposed to be all kinds of fun. We could gamble, walk around, drink fancy drinks, see a show and just be crazy girls. This looks like fun, yes?

But then there's the beach...ahh, the beach. My oldest sister doesn't love the beach so it would take some convincing to get her there I think. The beach we want to go to is a 12 hour drive for us at best but I think it's totally worth it. I just have to convince her that she will have a good time despite the sand and the wind. I mean, who wouldn't love to spend 3 days here:

And for anyone wondering, my oldest sister has to go. Her birthday is the weekend we are wanting to go somewhere and by the time this trip gets here, she will be well in need of a getaway.

But meanwhile, I am planning my weekend getaways for the summer. I plan on going back to the Guadalupe River for Memorial Day and July 4th with my friends to go tubing . Or "toobing" as the locals say. Three days of camping, cooking out, tubing. On this river:

Come on summer!!

LIFE: Where I'm posting random things like...

2010-02-12T14:35:00.000-06:00

Like I have almost spent my entire tax refund. Crazy how I can get with some extra money. But I did pay some bills so I was sort of responsible. But I did things I don't get to do a lot like take my rental kids bowling to the tune of $50! Dude, $5.50 a game per person and $4.00 for shoes per person. JEEZ! And I bought 2 pairs of tennis shoes, one fancy pair of Shox and a regular pair for the gym and volleyball. I bought groceries and didn't have to worry about how much I was spending and it was nice.

Like that since I'm (still) single, I am my own Valentine and I am getting a massage Saturday afternoon. An hour and a half long massage and I cannot wait. My back is super sore from all this volleyball I've been playing and all my gym time. Also? I deserve it. Period.

Like the fact that we had record breaking snowfall in the Dallas area. Over a foot in some places. It literally snowed for more than 24 hours straight with no breaks. It was breathtaking and it has beem stunning to see things around town. And the best part? The streets did not freeze. At all. But it has been lovely to have this snow. See?

Well, that's about it. I'm done being random.

LIFE: Where I thought I had re-connected...

2010-01-12T09:36:00.000-06:00

Well that didn't last long. The whole re-connection with Josh thing.

So we all know I emailed him and he emailed me back. Then I replied to that one and gave him my phone number (since he probably long ago deleted it) and said I'd love to catch up sometime. That was 8 days ago.

Perhaps when he told me he had been thinking about me too he meant "I've been thinking about you too lately...thinking about how much I hate you and continue to stick pins in your custom made to look just like you voodoo doll".

I suppose there is always a chance he'll call or write but I'm not holding my breath. Oh well. Que sera sera. (is that how you spell it?)

LIFE: Where I re-connected with an old flame

2010-01-05T13:13:00.000-06:00

Let me begin by saying I use the term "re-connected" loosely.

Yes, a couple of days after Christmas, in a weak moment inspired by the holidays, single-dom depression and PMS, I emailed Josh. My ex-boyfriend from a a year or so ago. "WHAT?" you ask? "You mean the one that lived 2 hours away and worked all the time and didn't have time for you?" Yep, that's the one. It was the holidays! (we met 2 years ago right before Christmas so it was natural that I thought of him, right?) The PMS made me do it! The lack of mind-altering drugs caused this! Those are my stories and I'm sticking to them. So yeah, I emailed him. Just to say hey and just to see how he was and to let him know I had been thinking about him. And yes, you probably don't want to hear from me and I will shut my pie hole now as you are probably already irritated. That was pretty much the gist of it.

Then days go by. Like, 7 days. I assumed he deleted it. Or read it and ignored it. Or read it and then deleted it.

Then yesterday, my hotmail account punched me in the face because there it was...his reply. A reply for which I was NOT prepared to actually see in my inbox nor read. He told me it was good to hear from me and that he was, in fact, not irritated. He even apologized for taking so long to respond. Then the big one... He said he had been thinking about me too. Cue the record scratch, dude.

Huh? So not the response I expected. But there it was. Wow. I was stunned. But then it could just be BS. He said it because I said it. He was being nice. Something like that. But what if he wasn't? What if he meant it? I left it alone and replied that all was well with me and was he still with the same police department and that my number is the same but here it is again just in case and you should call me so we can catch up.

Damn. I told him to call me. What if he does?

I need a keeper. Someone to prevent this sort of craziness.

TTFN! ("Ta Ta For Now")

LIFE: Where I bought myself a BIG birthday present

2009-12-15T13:10:00.000-06:00

I'm crazy.

Yesterday was my 36th birthday. I decided to go "look" at cars. I need a new one desperately and was going to do it soon but didn't truly think it would happen on my actual birthday. But it did.

After a loooong day and process, I left the Hyundai dealership in a "used" 2008 Sonata.

It's a pretty pewter grey/silver. I freaking love this car. It's a fully loaded V6 with a sunroof. So quiet, you cannot hear the engine, it's that quiet. No leather but that's OK by me because I prefer cloth. I got a steal of a deal on it, thanks to my pal Jen who was my "talker" :-) So now the fun begins...I get to re-budget my finances to fit in a $300 car payment and full coverage insurance. Things are gonna be LEAN for a while. But, I deserve it. I think anyway. But now I don't have a car that people laugh at or my friends make fun of because the belts squeal.

Happy Birthday to me!

P.S. - I have awesome friends too, btw. I got a ton of Facebook and other online happy birthday wishes and I love them all for 'em! I am truly blessed :)

LIFE: Where I am feeling a bit blue

2009-12-04T17:02:00.004-06:00

I can feel it coming on.

My wintertime/Christmas "I'm single and all alone with no one to kiss under the mistletoe" depression. I've been ignoring it but it's getting harder and harder to keep on ignoring it. All my potential guy prospects never panned out, it was a few dates and it was over and the one remaining eligible guy has decided to "date" this nasty junkie looking girl from his past who looks like she smells bad. So even if he did ask me out or whatever, I think I'd have to say no and ick. Sad thing is, this guy is great and could have any woman he wanted. So why does he have to go back in time with her when he could look to the future with me (or someone else who bathes and is without track marks on her arm?)

Anyway, I should just focus on me right? Forget about men/guys/boys and just keep busy with doing for me? Sounds easy but I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't be so easy. It sucks though becuase it's almost like everyone around me is suddenly coupled up or freaking engaged. That really sucks. I feel like it's everyone but me. Poor poor pitiful me. (Thanks you Linda Ronstadt)

Oh well. It is what it is. I will try really super hard to forget about the opposite sex and become selfish and work on me.

P.S. - pathetic to ask for a month long Match.com or EHarmony membership for Christmas? Yeah, I thought so too...

LIFE: Where I blog again

2009-11-05T16:41:00.002-06:00

I am going to try and start blogging again. Or trying to remember to blog again. Not that anyone reads it but still...

Now, once I figure out what to blog about, I'll be back.

(how many of you, if anyone is actually reading this, said "I'll be back" like The Terminator? I did.)

LIFE: Where it's the same song & dance

2009-06-19T08:29:00.002-05:00

Once again, in the relationship department, it looks as if I am going to crash and burn. Shot down yet again. And I'm spending the weekend with him and 2 friends at the lake. I'm doing this knowing it's not going anywhere. It is what it is and at least I get a weekend out of town and some quaint small town time out of the deal. Oh well. Whatever. I wasn't seeing "it" with this guy anyway, I just don't think it's there but the fact that *I* am not "the direction he's headed" still sucks because it makes me think it's ME. That *I* am not good enough. Deep down, I know I am, for someone, but where the hell is he already?

LIFE: Where I'm sad today

2009-06-09T10:37:00.002-05:00

My friend Kim Taylor suffered the worse loss imaginable for a parent and I am so sad for her. Kim, I am thinking of you and your family and sending my love and prayers to you.

LIFE: Where I am ready for summer!

2009-04-05T12:10:00.002-05:00

Well...I say I am.

Let it get up to 100 degrees + and ask me again. But dang it, I am ready for sunshine. Laying out by the pool. Playing water volleyball. Cooking out. Drinking cold beer. Wait, I do that now, never mind. But yes...I am ready. The weather has been teasing us. One day it's 82 and the next it's 60. But, that's Texas for you. It's also our storm season. This time 2 years ago, we were in the basement of Half Price Books trying to dodge a tornado. We haven't had any real bad stuff and God willing, we won't but watch...now that I've said something, we totally will.

Anywho...

I had a blast in Mississippi (see previous post) and it was beyond awesome to see old friends again and just relax. I love Jackson and could totally live there except for that pesky 6 hour trip between here and there. If I could just be all "I Dream of Jeanie" and *POOF!*, be there, I'd totally commute.

Other than that, not much has changed. Love life is still non-freaking existant. But I'm gonna try like hell to change that in the coming months. "D" is way done. I am so over him. He is even kind of slacking in the friend department so there's that. Oh well. C'est la vie!

Until next time...

LIFE: Where I update the internets...

2009-03-16T22:39:00.003-05:00

Hi Internets!

I haven't blogged lately because my life has been somewhat un-blog-worthy. Nothing to write about and all that. Life sort of stalled out on me.

However...things are different now.

I had knee surgery like, 6 weeks ago and I am recovering quite nicely. I had cartilage repaired and my ACL replaced and for the first 2 weeks, I truly thought I'd be gimpy forever but I can see now that I won't be. But yeah, at first? It SUCKED! It hurt so freaking bad. I was in a brace and on crutches and felt like I couldn't do anything for myself. That was when I discovered how great my friends are. Stephanie came with me for surgery and stayed with me for 2 days. Her 15 y/o daughter, my rental kid, stayed with me for 3 more and the whole time they were here, my friend-neighbors were here a lot. Including D (see prior posts below). He was so good to me, they all were. They hung out with me, brought me food, moved my knee machine all over and even bought certain For Girls Only products at the store. I am loved.

Speaking of D. I am in a new place with him. We are becoming great friends and I love it. We are sort of Will and Grace-ish but without the whole "he likes boys" factor. Or better yet, we are Julia Roberts & Dermot Mulroney in "My Best Friend's Wedding". I might have acted kind of jackass-y Friday night but I let his roomies, K&T (my other aforementioned friend-neighbors) know that I felt bad and was embarrased by my behavior and if I know them, they will let him know, therefore letting him know that he has nothing to worry about. I will not act that way again. I just don't want to screw our friendship up.

AND!

I'M GOING TO MISSISSIPPI!!!!!!!!!! Jackson to be precise. For the St. Paddy's Day parade and party. In 2 & 1/2 days!!! This time on Thursday, I will be sharing cocktails with friends I haven't seen in like, THREE YEARS! I am beyond excited and simply cannot wait until I am there. It's all I can think about :D

LIFE: Where he just not that into me

2009-01-13T20:49:00.003-06:00

And it sucks.

I didn't get totally dissed by D but I may as well have. He's "not looking for a relationship right now" which we all know is code for "He's just not that into me". But what pisses me off is that he's been all about acting like he was or could have been. And what pisses me off even more is that I fell for it. I admit, I probably read way more into it all than I should have but he needs to lay off the mixed signals. Quit choosing to ride in my car, go with someone else. Quit getting me on the dance floor and telling me that you like dancing slower with me. Quit playing with my hair. Quit hugging me when I least expect it. Quit being so charmy and cute because you make it very difficult to be "just friends".

I swear I just turned 35 but I feel like a ridiculous teenager and I hate it. So right now, for the next few days, I'm gonna be bummed out and depressed but after that? I'm over it. Eventually, he will realize what he's missing out on and it may very well be too late.

LIFE: Where I wish everyone a Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T20:36:00.002-06:00

I had a pretty good 2008 save for a few things and I can only hope and wish for an even better '09.

I hope 2009 brings in good stuff to everyone. Happy New Year to all!!

LIFE: Where I am running out of time

2008-12-22T21:22:00.003-06:00

I am not done cleaning. My dad and step-mom will be here tomorrow and they've never been to my apartment, so I need it to be clean.

I am still not done shopping and because I spent too much money on Saturday, I have to do something else and "else" requires me to go to the mall. Macy's to be exact. Srsly. TWO days before Christmas and ONE day before my family celebration for which I need something from Macy's. Shall I get drunk before I go?

Then, I need to finish wrapping gifts.

And go to the grocery store to get deviled eggs stuff. Then I have to make the eggs.

I am not going to finish it all. I am going to pull my hair out.

LIFE: Where I'm older, fatter & gifts are not wrapped

2008-12-17T18:53:00.002-06:00

Yep. I had a birthday. I am officially 3 & 1/2 decades old. THIRTY FIVE PEOPLE. I am trying hard not to do my usual thing where I'm all "poor pitiful me, I'm 35 and have nothing to show for it. No boyfriend/husband, no kids, yada yada blah". I do have something to show for it. I have my still relatively good health, a job, great family and great friends. Oh yeah, and about 15 more pounds than I had 6-8 months ago. I have *got* to get back to they gym.

I also have to get to wrapping Christmas presents. They are sprawled out under my trees in various store bags just waiting for me to get crafty. Oy vey. OK, I;m off to start. Perhaps listen to a little Christmas music too.

Another bit of good news, my friend "K" & her daughter, whom I blogged about below, are doing better. Things are still not great but she's better and for that I am thankful.

LIFE: Where I had so much fun last night being silly

2008-12-06T19:55:00.004-06:00

I did my usual with my friends. They league bowl. I am their cheerleader. I go up there with them, hang out, talk, and drink beer because what's better than a divey old school BYOB bowling alley on a Friday night with friends?

But what was different and fun was the fact that we went to our local watering hole after for a little bit. It wasn't as crowded and it was funner than Saturday nights and after that? We came home and played Rock Band and Singing Star ALL NIGHT LONG! Srsly. We started at about 2:30 in the morning (the bar closed at 2) and we all went our separate ways at 7:00 this morning. And yes, I realize I am about to be 35, far too old to be behaving like that and no, I don't know what we were thinking but it was great and silly fun, sometimes the best kind. Yes, I had a bit of hangover and just now at 7-something P.M. took a shower but I have great pictures, a great video of the Rock Banders and fun memories to show for it.

My weekend will be completed tomorrow by going to Texas Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys, for a birthday party. We will be on the field and will get to play football. It will be super fun. Also? D, the boy I kind of sort of like, IS GOING WITH ME. Squeeeeee!!

But I'm not excited. At all. :)

P.S. - say a prayer for my friend "K" and her child. They need something badly and since I can't give them what they need, I will do this. I will ask for prayers and pray along with you.

LIFE: Where I am done decorating

2008-11-29T22:45:00.002-06:00

I have finished decorating my apartment for Christmas.

On Nov. 30th.

What is wrong with me? Nothing. I just figured since I had Friday off and all of Saturday to do it, I may as well do it. It's now Saturday night and I am at home with nothing to do for the first time in a few weeks and I kind of like it. I mean, part of me would love to be out with D and my friends having a few drinks and dancing. (but it's OK because I'm broke right now and I'm not hot enough to get all my drinks paid for by total strangers, LOL!) but it's nice to just be a bum and watch fun movies like "Elf" and "Annie".

Anyway, my tree is up, it's decorated and I'm not even OCD'ing about it. Yet. If I stare at it for too long, I may find something to change/add/move, etc. But yes, my entire apartment is done. Even the bathroom has Christmas towels hanging in it now. And to continue the Christmas theme to the weekend, I am going to my grandmother's house tomorrow with my sister to help her decorate. She can't do it all herself anymore, so this has been a tradition for us the last few years. It's fun though. MawMaw gossips a little and usually feeds us, so it's all good.

But now I'm off the lay on the couch some more and bask in the glow of my tree lights. Good night!

LIFE: Where I think he likes me back

2008-11-10T16:54:00.002-06:00

I think I was right. I don't want to say it too loud, as I don't wanna screw this up but...

I think D may really like me back.

I was told by a worthy source that there is interest on his part but until he finds a job and starts to feel better about himself, not much is going to happen but only because he feels like a loser. He's embarrassed. And I get that. Even though *I* don't care about his situation, meaning that I like him in spite of no job, *he* cares and that? Is a good sign I think. To me, it tells me he wants to be able to bring something to the table but right now he feels like he can't. Like I said, I get that. It actually makes me like him a little bit more. I just wish I could help him more.

But, in the meantime, I will hang back, be his friend and 2-step partner and quietly support him and let him know that I am here for him shall he need a friend to lean on or a cute girl to make out with :)

LIFE: Where I need a new left leg & foot

2008-11-08T21:55:00.003-06:00

Srsly.

I have a heel spur and plantar fasciatis (sp?) in my left foot. The spur hurts like a mo-fo when I'm on my feet a lot. And I am. At work, drill team practice, on the weekends. Anyway, I deal. But the winner? I have a torn meniscus, or cartilage, in my left knee and a possible partial tear to my ACL (Anterior Crucial Ligament, how smart am I? You learn stuff working at a hospital).

Anyway, I need a left leg transplant. And while we're transplanting, can I get a new right one too? They might as well match. Also? Can they look like Angelina Jolie's or something? I mean, why not?

So yeah. I guess I really am old, fat and out of shape. But the former sort of athlete in me thinks it's sort of cool that I have a bona fide knee injury that will require surgery sooner than later. Sick I know.

On a brighter note...my drill team girls totally won their competition this morning. They did so good! There were a couple of big mistakes but luckily, our head director Barbie is such a choreography bad ass, the routine as a whole made up for the mess-ups. I am so proud of our little Minnie Mouses. We go to the City Competition in 2 weeks and have a really good shot at the city wide title. I will you posted.

Meantime, I am going to pass out. I've now been up for like, 17 or 18 hours and I am freaking WHIPPED!

Peace, holla!

LIFE: Where I update and go random

2008-10-13T21:51:00.003-05:00

So I am finally updating my blog. Not that a go-zillion people read it but still, a girl can dream, right?

So we are in the full swing of things with pee-wee drill. We have competition in a month and our practices are just going to get longer and harder. Oh joy. Have I mentioned that the girls are 4,5, & 6? It's like herding cats and the more tired they get, the worse they act. Homecoming is this weekend and we have a pep rally Friday night and then we go TP or "wrap" the football boys' houses. Oh yeah, we're having a slumber party that night too. I wonder if I can sneak in a beer or 5? At any rate, it'll be nuts but it'll be fun too. The girls are a hoot and make me laugh. And they are the cutest Minnie Mouses ever.

Also? My mystery neighbor above me on the 2nd floor is NOISY! I hate his guts. I hope he breaks an ankle.

On the boy front...nothing has really happened except that I asked D to go out to eat last week and he said yes but then had to cancel. But then we had a good Friday night. A big group of us were going to this bar after bowling and HE approached ME about riding together. I mean, he could have driven himself and he chose to park his car at my apartments and ride with me. So that's a good sign right? We hung out all night, literally, at C&S's apartment after we left the bar and we got told by B that we were a cute couple. Hopefully he sees it too and we'll become one because damn...I got it bad for this guy so far. There are so many positive signs but I don't know what his hold up is. I hope it's just him being afraid because he's still not working and he can't really "be the man", ya know? But I don't care about that, I mean I do, but he is more than what he does for a living. I'm telling you, WWW, it's one of those things that I know would be great if he would just hurry up and fall in love with me already :)

And? His birthday is tomorrow. I'm calling him and asking him to come over this week for Birthday Pancakes (he always orders pancakes when we hit IHOP at 3am) and maybe some Birthday Making Out? :)

LIFE: Where I'm a smitten scaredy kitten

2008-09-30T22:10:00.002-05:00

So yeah. Not real busted up over the busted relationship with J. I hardly think about him anymore. But someone I do think about? This guy that is good friends with several of my neighbors and another couple who don't live in my complex, all now my new friends and I shall call him D.

I've been around D a lot the last couple of months, between water volleyball , Friday night bowling league and a couple of bars we've hit. He is super duper nice, cute, funny, all that. We've talked a little, danced a little, hugged a little, he chose to ride with me to and from places a couple of times, he gave me his number (he also has mine) and he may have even kissed me (not "real" ones, btw) 2 or 3 times. Sure, they may have been a bit beer induced, but I think for the most part, you kind of know what you're doing and he wasn't so beer-y that he wouldn't realize what he did.

However...he hasn't called or asked me out on an actual date. But, he's going through a rough time right now personally and a big part of me thinks that's why. He just lost someone extremly close to him and he got laid off. Not a good thing considering the economy is in the crapper. He's trying to find work and so far, it just hasn't been found. I'm wondering, since a lot of guys identify themselves with their jobs and what they can do and/or bring to the table, if that is why. I'm telling you, World Wide Web, even my low self-esteem Pessimistic Polly side of me thinks there is something there.

So, I should just ask him out instead, right? Oh yeah sure. The thought of that? Scares the crap outta me. I broke up with J in an email because of my pansy-ness and now I want to ASK A NEW GUY OUT?? But I think I might. Friday night. Just a casual late night bite to eat after he bowls. I think I can do it. I shall let you know and in the meantime, wish me luck because if he shoots me down, I will feel like a dillweed.

LIFE: Where I broke up with him

2008-09-22T23:59:00.002-05:00

I ended things with J. I wimped out and emailed him to do it. I could not do it over the phone. I can barely hold it together now, I can't imagine the train wreck I'd be on the phone.

But even though I know I have valid reasons and that it's better this way, I can't help but feel like an asshole because it's coming out of left field for him. I'm sure this is the last thing he expects from me. I need to not dwell on that though. I need to re-read the email and remember all the things he DIDN'T do. I need to be mad. I need to be cold and callous (thanks, Sis), I need to be a bitch about because although I'm sad now, I DESERVE BETTER.

I will talk to him at some point I hope. He needs to know that I truly care about him but we don't work as a couple anymore. He needs to know that when you go almost 3 months without seeing each other, for crappy reasons, it takes it's toll. He needs to know that when he puts going into a hurricane to earn some good money while my dad HAD to stay and ride it out for work and less money before me, it stings and it hurts.

He needs to know that I can no longer make him a priority in my life when I am just an option in his. (Thank you, Emily. I owe you a margarita and a bowl of white queso)

LIFE: Where I talk to Hurricane Ike

2008-09-11T12:45:00.004-05:00

Hurricane Ike? You suck.

You are making life miserable for my dad, step-mom and sister. You are also currently wreaking havoc for my friend Kristen. You see Ike, Kris isn't really used to hurricanes. She a desert dwelling creature by nature so yeah, you are not high on her list right now. Nor are you high on my dad and sister's list. They are more used to it than Kris as they've lived down there forever. But because you are planning a very un-welcome visit, Daddy has to stay there and work (oh the joys of law enforcement), leaving my step-mom on her own with some friends, to drive to Louisiana. You are making my sister evacuate again with my 2 nephews. Not fun for them, Ike. Also? It looks like you may make MY life here in north Texas sucky too. I'm supposed to go out Saturday night and flirt with a cute boy and if you screw that up on top of everything else, I will be super pissed.

So yeah Ike, if you can, settle down a bit and not do so much damage as they say you will, would you? That would be great.

Signed,
Me

LIFE: Where I'm torn

2008-09-02T23:26:00.002-05:00

I don't know what to do about a boy.

It's not working for me anymore. I never see him. We don't talk as much as we used to and I just don't see any effort on his part to change it. If you cared about someone and didn't get to spend a lot of time with them, wouldn't you at least let that person know that it sucks you can't be with them everyday? Wouldn't you be bending over backwards to let that person know you miss them and things will change soon? I've tried to make an effort. I wanted to go see him but his work got in the way. Again. I know he loves his work but I'm tired of playing second fiddle to the badge and the gun. Plus, his schedule stinks. He works total opposite hours as me. So tack that on top of a 2 hour distance between us and it's no wonder it's not really working anymore. I keep thinking about what my smart friend Emily said once..."Don't make someone a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs". It has stuck with me ever since. It's so simple but yet extremely profound. I guess that's why they let her teach kids, she's a smart one.

Also? I met another boy. Nothing has come of it yet. (Key word there is "YET") I'm working on that . I need to see if I can turn what I think is a small spark into at least a campfire and if it turns into a campfire, I can kick the wood out of the way and make a gasoline trail to start a raging fire :)

So yeah. I'm torn. How do you end it? I've always been the dumpee, never the dumper. I don't want to hurt him but at this point, I wonder if he'd even care. Maybe we're both thinking the same thing and we're both too chickenshit to do it. I'm kind of wishing he'll do it first.

This sucks.

(On the upside, water volleyball should be this Saturday and hopefully, New Boy will be there)

Life: Where I'm obsessed

2008-08-18T10:21:00.002-05:00

With the Olympics.

I always get this way with the Summer Olympics. I love them. I love how there are still athletes out there who love their sport for the sport and the competition, not the money. I love the beauty of the opening ceremonies and the personal touches put into them by the host country.

I am severely sleep deprived because of the Olympics but I don't mind. It's worth it to see Michael Phelps work his magic. He is beyond awesome and I am thrilled for him. It's worth the bags under my eyes to see little Shawn Johnson be so happy just to be there competing against the worlds' best gymnasts (even though some of them are young children and some did NOT deserve the high scores they got, don't even get me started) and it's worth my crankiness to see Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh be so dominant in the sand and to see our local girl, NASTIA LIUKIN, once again bring home the gold in the gymnastics all-around competition. This week? Is all about track, volleyball and more diving and I cannot wait.

I will be bummed when the Olympics are over but part of me will be glad because then I can sleep again.

Life: Where stealing blog ideas is fun!

2008-08-06T11:38:00.002-05:00

In the spirit of passing it on, I found this on http://choosinggoodness.blogspot.com/ - my friend Kelly's blog and thought I'd play along. We're totally stealing other people's things, yo.

1) As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn’t matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember.

2) Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It’s actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I’ll assume you’re playing the game and I’ll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don’t want to play on your blog, or if you don’t have a blog, I’ll leave my memory of you in my comments.

LIFE: Where I haven't blogged lately

2008-08-04T11:31:00.003-05:00

Because frankly, my life has not been blog-worthy. Work is work and J is well, J. I'm not sure about things right now. I am starting to feel things I am sort of scared of feeling and I don't know if he is. I don't want to make him a priority in my life when I may just be an option in his. (My friend Emily (who is a genius) gave me that and I have not forgotten it. She said it in her blog and I needed to see that. It's like she knew I needed it.)

Anyway, I need to have a little talk with him but it seems lately that no time is a good time. At least on the phone anyway. I'd like to do it in person but getting him here on his 2 days off instead of his second job is evidently like getting blood from a turnip. Yeah. His second job? Not real thrilled about it.

At any rate, it's hotter than hell right now. I think even Lucifer himself would be bitching about this heat because it SUCKS! There is a storm forming in the Gulf and sadly, I don't think we will get anything from it. Other than that, life is good. I should have cable and internet soon at home which thrills me because it's almost Olympics time!! I love the Olympics. I love to watch the athletes who are, for the most part anyway, still doing it for the love of the game.

Well there is my update for now. If anything exciting happens, I'll be sure and let you know. Later!!

Life: Where we've hit the 6 month mark

2008-06-18T12:36:00.002-05:00

J and I have been dating for 6 months today. It's weird and cool all at the same time because it's been SO long since I've had a real live actual boyfriend. It's also not sounding so strange to use the term "boyfriend" anymore. I like him a little more each day even though he is such a guy sometimes but aren't they all? I hope to get him to town next week and have him stay long enough to meet Cindy, who will be here from Mississippi with her boyfriend.

Here's hoping for 6 more months and then some...

Later!

Life: Where I have a sick boyfriend

2008-06-06T12:43:00.002-05:00

Help me. Send liquor. Send Xanax. Hell, send both!

J is sick and I have discovered the pattern of how he deals with it.

He dopes himself up with meds and hibernates like a bear. And when he wakes up from this, he IS a bear. What's worse, Sick Guy Who Whines Like A Baby or Sick Guy Who Is A Jackass?

Life: Where I need a vacation

2008-06-04T14:53:00.002-05:00

So yeah. Life hasn't been super exciting lately I'm sad to say. I desperately need a vacation but sadly, beach trips cost a lot of money and since me and my gas tank are being raped on a weekly basis, it ain't happening anytime soon. Although, Cindy & Waylon are coming here in a few weeks, so that'll be fun. I'm planning on a Cook-Out Party at my pool. The more beer the merrier, I say!

But!

J did finally meet my dad, sister and her husband. It went pretty good I think. I think they need more conversation time. Maybe if J goes camping with us on 4th of July? We'll see. Somehow, I think he's gonna try and get out of it but maybe he'll surprise me.

Also, I feel old. One cousin is about to ship out with the Marines and another is graduating this Saturday. Unbelievable. Marine cousin was only like, 5 lbs at birth and now he's a freaking Marine?? And Little Stephanie? Graduating? She was all curly hair and big grin about 5 minutes ago.

Tis all for now. Going to strain my neck and eyes some more over work stuff. Peace!

Life: Where I'm hostage-y & finally updating my blog

2008-05-16T15:41:00.003-05:00

Thank you to my sister for that word. Is so my new favorite word!

Speaking of favorites, I met my new favorite author and new BFF on Wednesday night. The beautiful and even funner in person, Jen Lancaster (see www.jennsylvania.com ). She had a great turnout and I had a pretzel and cupcakes for dinner. (Shutup, like you have never had cupcakes for dinner, please.) I bought Jen a cupcake from a fancy schmancy bakery here in Dallas and I bought 3 for me and my sister and we shared them, so really? I only had a cupcake & a half, so there. Also, we are so new BFF's because she totally wrote it in my book. O-fficial.

What else has been going on?

J & I are going on a loooooong stretch of not seeing each other and it's kind of driving me crazy. So much so that I am even contemplating if it's even worth it. I know everything is more expensive, gas prices suck, he drives a gas guzzling truck, all that, but still. Doesn't make it easier that he took a 2nd job and wants to work all the time, he even put work ahead of 2 whole days with me and that? Did NOT make me happy. I want so badly for him to see that it will get better and that he can have some fun from time to time and that it doesn't always require money.

I'm all hostage-y because I'm a girl and we have days where we are not quite ourselves and also? Work has been sucky this week. I can't seem to get a grip and I feel like taking hostages or at the very least, throwing my pen down and walking out. Too many people coming at me once and it's too much. I need a vacation in the worst way. I am way burning out.

Other than that? It's all good. My new nephew Ian is the sweetest baby to ever draw breath and he absolutely has me and his parents wrapped around his widdle finger.

LIFE: Where I am rambling & a little happy

2008-04-22T16:55:00.005-05:00

So nothing too exciting has gone on lately. This week, I've sort of felt like taking a hostage or stomping puppies due the raging hormones surging throughout my body but I'm slowly feeling better. Slowly.

I miss J terribly. We mutally agreed to lessen the trips between our respective towns what with the price of gas being a million dollars a gallon and all and I am kind of hating it. So, to remedy that, I am headed his way on Saturday to go to work with him. So criminals beware, there will be two sets of eyes watching. Consider this your warning. It may cost me a fortune but if I don't do some kissin soon, I may lose my mind. So I'm happy about that. I get to see my boy.

Something else I'm happy about? My new favorite author and pretend BFF, Jen Lancaster, ( www.jennsylvania.com )will be in town for a booksigning in less than a month. All together now: SQUEEEEEEEE!! I need to find a strand of pearls to wear with my Faux-lo shirt, I say that because I? Can't afford a real Polo shirt. I also need to go to Sprinkles and buy her a cupcake.

Um, what else? Oh! I am taking a mini-vacay around Memorial Day weekend to spend 2 days tooling around the lovely town of Tyler, Texas with J. That weekend is the THE weekend. Where he meets my dad. (Again, EEK) At any rate, I figured it might be fun to do all sorts of coupley things beforehand. The Tyler Rose Garden, where I hope to get our first picture of us as a couple, the tiger refugee camp, nice dinners and maybe go see all the azaleas. Or perhaps we'll just hole up in the hotel and make out :)

That's about it for now.

Oh, P.S. - I guess I should clarify that I really have not nor do I actually plan to, take a hostage or stomp puppies. I'm hormonal, not maniacally insane :)

LIFE: Where I am NOT at the racetrack

2008-04-06T12:41:00.003-05:00

I am a NASCAR fan. I watch it almost every weekend. I have been to several races out at Texas Motor Speedway. It is quite an experience and one I wish I was experiencing today.

You see, all of NASCAR's finest, GO JEFF GORDON, are at TMS this weekend, they have actually been out there all week, but sadly...I? Am not there. Race tickets have gotten quite expensive and they just were not in the budget this time. But man, I just went outside and it is a beautiful and glorious Texas spring day, perfect for the racetrack. Sunny, bright, temps is teetering between slightly cool and warm and so breezy that it becomes almost perfect weather. And again, I am not out there. Perhaps I will look into going in November and getting The Boy I Like to go with me.

For now? I may open some windows while I watch Sunday's Finest Sporting Event on TV and I will cheer and hope like mad that Jeff Gordon can get his first win at Texas. If he does, I'll be sad that I wasn't there to see it in person, but happy that he won all the same.

LIFE: Where I get sappy about being a new Aunt

2008-03-28T16:05:00.003-05:00

So my big sister has wanted a baby for like, 18 years now.

Well, she finally got one. I want to thank "S" for making the ultimate sacrifice. She gave her baby to my sister and her husband. She did the best thing she could do for her baby and that was to give him to a couple that has loved him since the day she said they were The Ones, about 9 months ago. She said that she wanted to complete someone's family and she did. She absolutely did.

Sweet Boy was born this past Monday and he has completely transformed my sister and brother-in-law's lives. I have wanted this for them for so long and it makes me happier than just about anything to see them like this: Looking at Sweet Boy. Feeding Sweet Boy. Loving Sweet Boy.

Welcome to the world and to the family Sweet Boy.

Love, Aunt Lissa

LIFE: Where I shout out to "Aimee"...

2008-03-21T10:34:00.003-05:00

HI AIMEE!

I'm so excited. I'm sort of new to this blogging thing and Aimee is the first "stranger" to leave me a comment. (The few others came from a friend) I was totally stoked to see her leave me, not one, but TWO comments. She found me via www.jennsylvania.com - home of way funny author Jen Lancaster (who is coming to Dallas for a booksigning in May and that rocks!)

So thanks Aimee, for making my day!

LIFE: Where he saw me with no makeup & referenced himself as a boyfriend

2008-03-21T10:19:00.003-05:00

Yep. I took that step. J was here this week and he got the pleasure (or not?) of seeing me with no makeup after I got out of the shower. I told him I couldn't believe I was doing this and he made me stand still and look him dead in the eyes. WITH NO MAKEUP! Again, I? Am not all that cute that way. Circles under the eyes, non-existant eyebrows, pores the size of Texas, I have all that and he hauled off and said there was nothing wrong with the way I looked.

Swoon.

Also, I suppose this is a real relationship now as he referenced himself as my boyfriend. While perusing the new releases in Blockbuster, I saw "We Own The Night" starring my celeb boyfriend, Joaquin Phoenix. I said "Oh, look, We Own The Night! That has my boyfriend Joaquin in it” and J said “I’m not in that movie”. What?

This is the first it’s ever been mentioned. I mean, I figured since he wants to meet people, that we were BF/GF, but without actual confirmation, you just never know. So can I safely assume from that comment that we have reached Official Couple status now? Might I really have a (insert gulping sound here) BOYFRIEND?

Holy crap.

LIFE: Where he wants to meet my dad

2008-03-11T13:28:00.003-05:00

Evidently J has given thought to meeting my dad. Holy crap. He said that he thought about how he would act and what he would say when meeting him because they do the same thing for a living and my dad would know he's full of shit.

Then last night, he asked me when I was going to see my dad and I half jokingly said "Why? You want to come with me?" and he said "yeah, I was thinking I need to bite the bullet and meet him pretty soon". Have I mentioned holy crap? Um yeah, this girl has NEVER brought a boy home to meet my dad. NEVER. I don't know if he'll go all "what are your intentions with my daughter" on him or what. It sort of makes me freak out a little if I think about it too much.

Perhaps we can start with the locals, mom and sisters instead and save Meet The Dad Weekend for later on.

Life: Where Valentine's Day was not great

2008-02-18T13:56:00.005-06:00

But good. Borderline Only OK.

That boy I am still seeing kind of blew it. He bought me dinner and was very sweet to me but got me nothing specifically for Valentine's Day. Nothing. He told me "Happy Valentines Day" and apologized for not getting me anything but other than that? Zilch. I suppose one could look at my test of 'Not Saying Anything To Him About It On Purpose To See What He Does' sort of backfired. Perhaps I should've been more verbal about it. I wasn't expecting anything as much as I was hoping for something. Not a big grotesque red and pink display of affection, but something simpler. A card. A single rose. You get my drift? I am a less is more kind of girl. So now, if this lasts any good amount of time and I am fortunate enough to be able to look back at things involving this boy, this is what I have for our first Valentines Day.

But...

Because I am a cool chick, I was sort of over it by Friday afternoon. I mean, not the greatest Valentine ever but he's great otherwise. Pick your battles and all that. Also, he's very sweet to me. He calls every night and even called to check on me recently when I texted him about someone I wanted to harm physically. He wanted to know who pissed me off. He didn't even question it. He just wanted to know who had done it. As if he were going to help me injure them. How do you not love that? And! He opens doors for me and stuff. How cool and old school is that?

So yeah, he was A Dumb Boy when it came to gift-giving but I can school him better later on. In the meantime, I'll keep him for all the other good things he does.

Life: Where I am moving!!

2008-01-17T23:21:00.000-06:00

Again. Ugh. Moving. As excited as I am, the thought of packing 2 years of living in the ghetto kind of makes me want to vomit. Not that I have a lot of stuff because I don't. I do, however, have just enough to make it a pain in the ass. I am renting a U-Haul this time so I can do it all in one big trip. Of course, I have to suck up to my brother-in-law because I want him to drive the thing.

At any rate, I am moving back to the suburbs. It'll be a further drive to and from work but my garden tub and wine rack will make it worth it. I am SO stoked about having a garden tub again. I have certainly learned my lesson and will not take the tub for granted this time.

So onwards and upwards I go from the ghetto to Rodeo Town. I have a Super Wal-Mart about 10 minutes away with a Kohls, Pier One, Borders, Best Buy and McDonald's within walking distance. Sweet.

Now I have to pack. Fun.

Life, Part 2: Where I Might Have Found A New Home

2008-01-06T12:19:00.000-06:00

Lets keep everything crossed that the apartment I looked at yesterday becomes mine. I need to call them back and discuss app fees, deposits, etc and God willin and the creek don't rise, I'll be moving on up into a newer, prettier, less ghetto-y and with garden tub apartment!

Plus, I'll be a suburbs girl again instead of the big stinky city of Dallas is sucking the life out of me girl. Score!!

Life: Where a boy might actually like me

2008-01-06T12:06:00.001-06:00

So I thought I was being all jokey and funny with something I said to The Boy last night. It failed miserably. He did not get it nor did he see the humor and it was so bad, I feared I had ruined whatever it is that we might have. I thought "Great. Way to screw up something potentially wonderful with one smart-ass joke. Good job, Mel" I then had to convince him that he did NOT need to be in "caution mode" (his words) and that I truly was kidding and was even more truly sorry.

The whole thing led me to believe that he might actually be in it for the long haul, contrary to what Pessimistic Polly here might think. I am not used to this and perhaps I need to let him know that. Then he might understand more about why I said what I said. I'm a little gun-shy and when it comes to relationships with men, I tend to sit around and wait for that other shoe to drop.

Please let his shoes and all the other shoes be laced tightly and hung from super strong rope so they don't fall.

Life: Where I pick out a movie to watch with a boy

2007-12-26T15:32:00.001-06:00

So, my new friend is in town. He's going to do some work for a few hours and whilst he is out working, I am going to Blockbuster to find us a movie to watch when he gets back.

Anyone want to take a guess as to how long it's been since I've chosen a movie based on whether or not a BOY will like it? An actual male human will be up in my hizzy tonight and I am in charge of movies. Um, EEK? He says he has faith in me and will watch anything. Oh sure.

Jesus H. Johnson. I get the movie and all he has to do is remember my Diet Coke. How is that fair?

My Date. By Melissa

2007-12-21T21:14:00.001-06:00

I was notified by my friend Jinny that I was killing her because I have not updated here about my date with "Crash". So let me tell her and whoever else that might read this...it went very well.

He was very nice. He brought me a DVD with his car crash on it, along with other random chases and pictures on it. I guess you need to know that he is a police officer and he knows I love that sort of thing. So instead of flowers, I get police chases. So romantic :)

Anyway, to make a long story short, it was a fun evening and he treated me very well. Albeit, not your typical first date by any stretch of the imagination but it worked for me. He opened doors and everything. He even asked me if he could kiss me.

And I totally let him.

We are supposed to go out again Wednesday for chinese food. So far so good.

So I have a date tonight

2007-12-18T17:26:00.000-06:00

What looks to be a bona fide, real, not getting stood up date. I said to my best good friend, Cindy, that I am a little EEEEK!! and a little SQUEEEEEE!! I think SQUEEEE is ahead by a slight margin now but I bet a monkey EEEEK comes from behind and kicks SQUEEEE's ass the moment I pull up in the parking lot.

I think I know what I'm wearing. Jeans, hooker boots (he's tall) and a black v-neck sweater that is almost dangerously low cut. I want to give him a hint of what he is not getting on the first date. I'm a vixen like that.

OK, not really. I just wanted to see what it felt like to call myself a vixen.

Off to get gorgeous. I shall report back. Wish me luck!

I Hope He Stays This Way

2007-12-16T22:42:00.000-06:00

So there is this guy. Let's call him Five-Oh. He is great on paper and on the phone. He spells everything right, uses punctuation and says "Yes ma'am". I sure hope he stays this way. He's been juuuust flirty enough where it's fun and not oogey. He even said I was hot. That's big. I hope he meant it and wasn't just being nice.

Let's hope he stays this way.

Moving out of the ghetto

2007-12-13T23:02:00.000-06:00

YAY! I get to move again. The Elvis classic "In The Ghetto" will no longer be my anthem. That's a bummer but I'll get over it. I can't wait to get away from the noisy skank chick next door and the Asshole Above Me With The Led Feet. This mo-fo cannot walk or do anything without it sounding like he's Savion Glover or Hulk Hogan. I hate his rotten, stinkin guts. He looks like the creature from the Ahnold movie "Predator". Maybe that's what I should call him. I shall call him "Savion Predator Hogan".

At any rate, the thought of gathering boxes, packing, loading & uloading them, unpacking and and stuff kind of makes me want to pop a vein but it has to be done. I wish I had all the money in the world because if I did, I would so pay someone to do all my crap for me.

P.S. - If Savion Predator Hogan wakes me up again at 3am like last night/this morning, I will not be responsible for what happens to him.

Am I asking for too much here?

2007-12-10T17:58:00.001-06:00

There is a guy. Guy has been sort of hounding me to go out with him. Which would normally be OK except I kinda don't want to, been putting it off for a bit now. However, my lovely friend Deanna said in a recent blog that sometimes you should go out with anyone who asks because you never know who you will hit it off with. So, I agree to go, in his words, "hang out". (Plus, every girl needs those dating horror stories to share with girlfriends and future daughters, maybe he would be mine?)

So, he says "What are you opposed to doing?" and it threw me. I know "waht do you want to do?" but I don't know "what are you opposed to doing?" SO I give you the following is an excerpt from our IM conversation (yes, I saved it so I could post it here, publicly for all the world to see. )

"Melissa: opposed?
executivemusicgroup: yes as in what do you not wanna do
Melissa: um, OK...no movies, no sex and no making out...no at your place or mine...
executivemusicgroup: wow
executivemusicgroup: ok
Melissa: why wow? none of those are first meeting events in my world. movies are on the list because who wants to sit in a dark theater for 2 hours and not be able to talk?
executivemusicgroup: ok
executivemusicgroup: i seee
Melissa: hope that isn't a problem
executivemusicgroup: no i agree with all but one
executivemusicgroup: but it is all good
Melissa: hmmm...which one do you not agree with? Just curious
executivemusicgroup: making out
Melissa: well, let me clarify that making out thing...
Melissa: i'd probably be ok with a kiss on the cheek greeting and the standard and proper kiss goodnight. What i'm not down with is lots of it. i mean, i'm all about a good makeout session, just not the first few times out of the gate.
executivemusicgroup: ok
executivemusicgroup: i see
executivemusicgroup: understand
executivemusicgroup: i will respect that
Melissa: cool.
executivemusicgroup: i like making out
executivemusicgroup: and dont see a problem with it
executivemusicgroup: but
executivemusicgroup: i do respect others peoples wishes

So my issue is this: Am I asking too much that guys DON'T expect some junior-high makeout session on the VERY FIRST DATE?? Am I asking too much that guys don't seem so suprised at my standards? I don't think so either. I also don't think I'm gonna go out with him now. Besides, it's supposed to be "Focus On Me" time right now. Plus, I turn another year older this week and that's depressing enough. I don't need some guy trying to go all 8th grade frenching in my mouth.

My first official blog not on MySpace

2007-12-09T23:29:00.000-06:00

Look at me being all cool and shit. This is mostly a test post to see what it looks like.