LIFE: Where I wish everyone a Happy New Year!

I had a pretty good 2008 save for a few things and I can only hope and wish for an even better '09.

I hope 2009 brings in good stuff to everyone. Happy New Year to all!!

LIFE: Where I am running out of time

I am not done cleaning. My dad and step-mom will be here tomorrow and they've never been to my apartment, so I need it to be clean.

I am still not done shopping and because I spent too much money on Saturday, I have to do something else and "else" requires me to go to the mall. Macy's to be exact. Srsly. TWO days before Christmas and ONE day before my family celebration for which I need something from Macy's. Shall I get drunk before I go?

Then, I need to finish wrapping gifts.

And go to the grocery store to get deviled eggs stuff. Then I have to make the eggs.

I am not going to finish it all. I am going to pull my hair out.

LIFE: Where I'm older, fatter & gifts are not wrapped

Yep. I had a birthday. I am officially 3 & 1/2 decades old. THIRTY FIVE PEOPLE. I am trying hard not to do my usual thing where I'm all "poor pitiful me, I'm 35 and have nothing to show for it. No boyfriend/husband, no kids, yada yada blah". I do have something to show for it. I have my still relatively good health, a job, great family and great friends. Oh yeah, and about 15 more pounds than I had 6-8 months ago. I have *got* to get back to they gym.

I also have to get to wrapping Christmas presents. They are sprawled out under my trees in various store bags just waiting for me to get crafty. Oy vey. OK, I;m off to start. Perhaps listen to a little Christmas music too.

Another bit of good news, my friend "K" & her daughter, whom I blogged about below, are doing better. Things are still not great but she's better and for that I am thankful.

LIFE: Where I had so much fun last night being silly

I did my usual with my friends. They league bowl. I am their cheerleader. I go up there with them, hang out, talk, and drink beer because what's better than a divey old school BYOB bowling alley on a Friday night with friends?

But what was different and fun was the fact that we went to our local watering hole after for a little bit. It wasn't as crowded and it was funner than Saturday nights and after that? We came home and played Rock Band and Singing Star ALL NIGHT LONG! Srsly. We started at about 2:30 in the morning (the bar closed at 2) and we all went our separate ways at 7:00 this morning. And yes, I realize I am about to be 35, far too old to be behaving like that and no, I don't know what we were thinking but it was great and silly fun, sometimes the best kind. Yes, I had a bit of hangover and just now at 7-something P.M. took a shower but I have great pictures, a great video of the Rock Banders and fun memories to show for it.

My weekend will be completed tomorrow by going to Texas Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys, for a birthday party. We will be on the field and will get to play football. It will be super fun. Also? D, the boy I kind of sort of like, IS GOING WITH ME. Squeeeeee!!

But I'm not excited. At all. :)


P.S. - say a prayer for my friend "K" and her child. They need something badly and since I can't give them what they need, I will do this. I will ask for prayers and pray along with you.

LIFE: Where I am done decorating

I have finished decorating my apartment for Christmas.

On Nov. 30th.

What is wrong with me? Nothing. I just figured since I had Friday off and all of Saturday to do it, I may as well do it. It's now Saturday night and I am at home with nothing to do for the first time in a few weeks and I kind of like it. I mean, part of me would love to be out with D and my friends having a few drinks and dancing. (but it's OK because I'm broke right now and I'm not hot enough to get all my drinks paid for by total strangers, LOL!) but it's nice to just be a bum and watch fun movies like "Elf" and "Annie".

Anyway, my tree is up, it's decorated and I'm not even OCD'ing about it. Yet. If I stare at it for too long, I may find something to change/add/move, etc. But yes, my entire apartment is done. Even the bathroom has Christmas towels hanging in it now. And to continue the Christmas theme to the weekend, I am going to my grandmother's house tomorrow with my sister to help her decorate. She can't do it all herself anymore, so this has been a tradition for us the last few years. It's fun though. MawMaw gossips a little and usually feeds us, so it's all good.

But now I'm off the lay on the couch some more and bask in the glow of my tree lights. Good night!

LIFE: Where I think he likes me back

I think I was right. I don't want to say it too loud, as I don't wanna screw this up but...

I think D may really like me back.

I was told by a worthy source that there is interest on his part but until he finds a job and starts to feel better about himself, not much is going to happen but only because he feels like a loser. He's embarrassed. And I get that. Even though *I* don't care about his situation, meaning that I like him in spite of no job, *he* cares and that? Is a good sign I think. To me, it tells me he wants to be able to bring something to the table but right now he feels like he can't. Like I said, I get that. It actually makes me like him a little bit more. I just wish I could help him more.

But, in the meantime, I will hang back, be his friend and 2-step partner and quietly support him and let him know that I am here for him shall he need a friend to lean on or a cute girl to make out with :)

LIFE: Where I need a new left leg & foot

Srsly.

I have a heel spur and plantar fasciatis (sp?) in my left foot. The spur hurts like a mo-fo when I'm on my feet a lot. And I am. At work, drill team practice, on the weekends. Anyway, I deal. But the winner? I have a torn meniscus, or cartilage, in my left knee and a possible partial tear to my ACL (Anterior Crucial Ligament, how smart am I? You learn stuff working at a hospital).

Anyway, I need a left leg transplant. And while we're transplanting, can I get a new right one too? They might as well match. Also? Can they look like Angelina Jolie's or something? I mean, why not?

So yeah. I guess I really am old, fat and out of shape. But the former sort of athlete in me thinks it's sort of cool that I have a bona fide knee injury that will require surgery sooner than later. Sick I know.

On a brighter note...my drill team girls totally won their competition this morning. They did so good! There were a couple of big mistakes but luckily, our head director Barbie is such a choreography bad ass, the routine as a whole made up for the mess-ups. I am so proud of our little Minnie Mouses. We go to the City Competition in 2 weeks and have a really good shot at the city wide title. I will you posted.

Meantime, I am going to pass out. I've now been up for like, 17 or 18 hours and I am freaking WHIPPED!

Peace, holla!

LIFE: Where I update and go random

So I am finally updating my blog. Not that a go-zillion people read it but still, a girl can dream, right?

So we are in the full swing of things with pee-wee drill. We have competition in a month and our practices are just going to get longer and harder. Oh joy. Have I mentioned that the girls are 4,5, & 6? It's like herding cats and the more tired they get, the worse they act. Homecoming is this weekend and we have a pep rally Friday night and then we go TP or "wrap" the football boys' houses. Oh yeah, we're having a slumber party that night too. I wonder if I can sneak in a beer or 5? At any rate, it'll be nuts but it'll be fun too. The girls are a hoot and make me laugh. And they are the cutest Minnie Mouses ever.

Also? My mystery neighbor above me on the 2nd floor is NOISY! I hate his guts. I hope he breaks an ankle.

On the boy front...nothing has really happened except that I asked D to go out to eat last week and he said yes but then had to cancel. But then we had a good Friday night. A big group of us were going to this bar after bowling and HE approached ME about riding together. I mean, he could have driven himself and he chose to park his car at my apartments and ride with me. So that's a good sign right? We hung out all night, literally, at C&S's apartment after we left the bar and we got told by B that we were a cute couple. Hopefully he sees it too and we'll become one because damn...I got it bad for this guy so far. There are so many positive signs but I don't know what his hold up is. I hope it's just him being afraid because he's still not working and he can't really "be the man", ya know? But I don't care about that, I mean I do, but he is more than what he does for a living. I'm telling you, WWW, it's one of those things that I know would be great if he would just hurry up and fall in love with me already :)

And? His birthday is tomorrow. I'm calling him and asking him to come over this week for Birthday Pancakes (he always orders pancakes when we hit IHOP at 3am) and maybe some Birthday Making Out? :)

LIFE: Where I'm a smitten scaredy kitten

So yeah. Not real busted up over the busted relationship with J. I hardly think about him anymore. But someone I do think about? This guy that is good friends with several of my neighbors and another couple who don't live in my complex, all now my new friends and I shall call him D.

I've been around D a lot the last couple of months, between water volleyball , Friday night bowling league and a couple of bars we've hit. He is super duper nice, cute, funny, all that. We've talked a little, danced a little, hugged a little, he chose to ride with me to and from places a couple of times, he gave me his number (he also has mine) and he may have even kissed me (not "real" ones, btw) 2 or 3 times. Sure, they may have been a bit beer induced, but I think for the most part, you kind of know what you're doing and he wasn't so beer-y that he wouldn't realize what he did.

However...he hasn't called or asked me out on an actual date. But, he's going through a rough time right now personally and a big part of me thinks that's why. He just lost someone extremly close to him and he got laid off. Not a good thing considering the economy is in the crapper. He's trying to find work and so far, it just hasn't been found. I'm wondering, since a lot of guys identify themselves with their jobs and what they can do and/or bring to the table, if that is why. I'm telling you, World Wide Web, even my low self-esteem Pessimistic Polly side of me thinks there is something there.

So, I should just ask him out instead, right? Oh yeah sure. The thought of that? Scares the crap outta me. I broke up with J in an email because of my pansy-ness and now I want to ASK A NEW GUY OUT?? But I think I might. Friday night. Just a casual late night bite to eat after he bowls. I think I can do it. I shall let you know and in the meantime, wish me luck because if he shoots me down, I will feel like a dillweed.

LIFE: Where I broke up with him

I ended things with J. I wimped out and emailed him to do it. I could not do it over the phone. I can barely hold it together now, I can't imagine the train wreck I'd be on the phone.

But even though I know I have valid reasons and that it's better this way, I can't help but feel like an asshole because it's coming out of left field for him. I'm sure this is the last thing he expects from me. I need to not dwell on that though. I need to re-read the email and remember all the things he DIDN'T do. I need to be mad. I need to be cold and callous (thanks, Sis), I need to be a bitch about because although I'm sad now, I DESERVE BETTER.

I will talk to him at some point I hope. He needs to know that I truly care about him but we don't work as a couple anymore. He needs to know that when you go almost 3 months without seeing each other, for crappy reasons, it takes it's toll. He needs to know that when he puts going into a hurricane to earn some good money while my dad HAD to stay and ride it out for work and less money before me, it stings and it hurts.

He needs to know that I can no longer make him a priority in my life when I am just an option in his. (Thank you, Emily. I owe you a margarita and a bowl of white queso)

LIFE: Where I talk to Hurricane Ike

Hurricane Ike? You suck.

You are making life miserable for my dad, step-mom and sister. You are also currently wreaking havoc for my friend Kristen. You see Ike, Kris isn't really used to hurricanes. She a desert dwelling creature by nature so yeah, you are not high on her list right now. Nor are you high on my dad and sister's list. They are more used to it than Kris as they've lived down there forever. But because you are planning a very un-welcome visit, Daddy has to stay there and work (oh the joys of law enforcement), leaving my step-mom on her own with some friends, to drive to Louisiana. You are making my sister evacuate again with my 2 nephews. Not fun for them, Ike. Also? It looks like you may make MY life here in north Texas sucky too. I'm supposed to go out Saturday night and flirt with a cute boy and if you screw that up on top of everything else, I will be super pissed.

So yeah Ike, if you can, settle down a bit and not do so much damage as they say you will, would you? That would be great.

Signed,
Me

LIFE: Where I'm torn

I don't know what to do about a boy.

It's not working for me anymore. I never see him. We don't talk as much as we used to and I just don't see any effort on his part to change it. If you cared about someone and didn't get to spend a lot of time with them, wouldn't you at least let that person know that it sucks you can't be with them everyday? Wouldn't you be bending over backwards to let that person know you miss them and things will change soon? I've tried to make an effort. I wanted to go see him but his work got in the way. Again. I know he loves his work but I'm tired of playing second fiddle to the badge and the gun. Plus, his schedule stinks. He works total opposite hours as me. So tack that on top of a 2 hour distance between us and it's no wonder it's not really working anymore. I keep thinking about what my smart friend Emily said once..."Don't make someone a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs". It has stuck with me ever since. It's so simple but yet extremely profound. I guess that's why they let her teach kids, she's a smart one.

Also? I met another boy. Nothing has come of it yet. (Key word there is "YET") I'm working on that . I need to see if I can turn what I think is a small spark into at least a campfire and if it turns into a campfire, I can kick the wood out of the way and make a gasoline trail to start a raging fire :)

So yeah. I'm torn. How do you end it? I've always been the dumpee, never the dumper. I don't want to hurt him but at this point, I wonder if he'd even care. Maybe we're both thinking the same thing and we're both too chickenshit to do it. I'm kind of wishing he'll do it first.

This sucks.

(On the upside, water volleyball should be this Saturday and hopefully, New Boy will be there)

Life: Where I'm obsessed

With the Olympics.

I always get this way with the Summer Olympics. I love them. I love how there are still athletes out there who love their sport for the sport and the competition, not the money. I love the beauty of the opening ceremonies and the personal touches put into them by the host country.

I am severely sleep deprived because of the Olympics but I don't mind. It's worth it to see Michael Phelps work his magic. He is beyond awesome and I am thrilled for him. It's worth the bags under my eyes to see little Shawn Johnson be so happy just to be there competing against the worlds' best gymnasts (even though some of them are young children and some did NOT deserve the high scores they got, don't even get me started) and it's worth my crankiness to see Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh be so dominant in the sand and to see our local girl, NASTIA LIUKIN, once again bring home the gold in the gymnastics all-around competition. This week? Is all about track, volleyball and more diving and I cannot wait.

I will be bummed when the Olympics are over but part of me will be glad because then I can sleep again.

Life: Where stealing blog ideas is fun!

In the spirit of passing it on, I found this on http://choosinggoodness.blogspot.com/ - my friend Kelly's blog and thought I'd play along. We're totally stealing other people's things, yo.

1) As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn’t matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember.

2) Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It’s actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I’ll assume you’re playing the game and I’ll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don’t want to play on your blog, or if you don’t have a blog, I’ll leave my memory of you in my comments.

LIFE: Where I haven't blogged lately

Because frankly, my life has not been blog-worthy. Work is work and J is well, J. I'm not sure about things right now. I am starting to feel things I am sort of scared of feeling and I don't know if he is. I don't want to make him a priority in my life when I may just be an option in his. (My friend Emily (who is a genius) gave me that and I have not forgotten it. She said it in her blog and I needed to see that. It's like she knew I needed it.)

Anyway, I need to have a little talk with him but it seems lately that no time is a good time. At least on the phone anyway. I'd like to do it in person but getting him here on his 2 days off instead of his second job is evidently like getting blood from a turnip. Yeah. His second job? Not real thrilled about it.

At any rate, it's hotter than hell right now. I think even Lucifer himself would be bitching about this heat because it SUCKS! There is a storm forming in the Gulf and sadly, I don't think we will get anything from it. Other than that, life is good. I should have cable and internet soon at home which thrills me because it's almost Olympics time!! I love the Olympics. I love to watch the athletes who are, for the most part anyway, still doing it for the love of the game.

Well there is my update for now. If anything exciting happens, I'll be sure and let you know. Later!!

Life: Where we've hit the 6 month mark

J and I have been dating for 6 months today. It's weird and cool all at the same time because it's been SO long since I've had a real live actual boyfriend. It's also not sounding so strange to use the term "boyfriend" anymore. I like him a little more each day even though he is such a guy sometimes but aren't they all? I hope to get him to town next week and have him stay long enough to meet Cindy, who will be here from Mississippi with her boyfriend.

Here's hoping for 6 more months and then some...

Later!

Life: Where I have a sick boyfriend

Help me. Send liquor. Send Xanax. Hell, send both!

J is sick and I have discovered the pattern of how he deals with it.

He dopes himself up with meds and hibernates like a bear. And when he wakes up from this, he IS a bear. What's worse, Sick Guy Who Whines Like A Baby or Sick Guy Who Is A Jackass?

Life: Where I need a vacation

So yeah. Life hasn't been super exciting lately I'm sad to say. I desperately need a vacation but sadly, beach trips cost a lot of money and since me and my gas tank are being raped on a weekly basis, it ain't happening anytime soon. Although, Cindy & Waylon are coming here in a few weeks, so that'll be fun. I'm planning on a Cook-Out Party at my pool. The more beer the merrier, I say!

But!

J did finally meet my dad, sister and her husband. It went pretty good I think. I think they need more conversation time. Maybe if J goes camping with us on 4th of July? We'll see. Somehow, I think he's gonna try and get out of it but maybe he'll surprise me.

Also, I feel old. One cousin is about to ship out with the Marines and another is graduating this Saturday. Unbelievable. Marine cousin was only like, 5 lbs at birth and now he's a freaking Marine?? And Little Stephanie? Graduating? She was all curly hair and big grin about 5 minutes ago.

Tis all for now. Going to strain my neck and eyes some more over work stuff. Peace!

Life: Where I'm hostage-y & finally updating my blog

Thank you to my sister for that word. Is so my new favorite word!

Speaking of favorites, I met my new favorite author and new BFF on Wednesday night. The beautiful and even funner in person, Jen Lancaster (see www.jennsylvania.com ). She had a great turnout and I had a pretzel and cupcakes for dinner. (Shutup, like you have never had cupcakes for dinner, please.) I bought Jen a cupcake from a fancy schmancy bakery here in Dallas and I bought 3 for me and my sister and we shared them, so really? I only had a cupcake & a half, so there. Also, we are so new BFF's because she totally wrote it in my book. O-fficial.

What else has been going on?

J & I are going on a loooooong stretch of not seeing each other and it's kind of driving me crazy. So much so that I am even contemplating if it's even worth it. I know everything is more expensive, gas prices suck, he drives a gas guzzling truck, all that, but still. Doesn't make it easier that he took a 2nd job and wants to work all the time, he even put work ahead of 2 whole days with me and that? Did NOT make me happy. I want so badly for him to see that it will get better and that he can have some fun from time to time and that it doesn't always require money.

I'm all hostage-y because I'm a girl and we have days where we are not quite ourselves and also? Work has been sucky this week. I can't seem to get a grip and I feel like taking hostages or at the very least, throwing my pen down and walking out. Too many people coming at me once and it's too much. I need a vacation in the worst way. I am way burning out.

Other than that? It's all good. My new nephew Ian is the sweetest baby to ever draw breath and he absolutely has me and his parents wrapped around his widdle finger.

LIFE: Where I am rambling & a little happy

So nothing too exciting has gone on lately. This week, I've sort of felt like taking a hostage or stomping puppies due the raging hormones surging throughout my body but I'm slowly feeling better. Slowly.

I miss J terribly. We mutally agreed to lessen the trips between our respective towns what with the price of gas being a million dollars a gallon and all and I am kind of hating it. So, to remedy that, I am headed his way on Saturday to go to work with him. So criminals beware, there will be two sets of eyes watching. Consider this your warning. It may cost me a fortune but if I don't do some kissin soon, I may lose my mind. So I'm happy about that. I get to see my boy.

Something else I'm happy about? My new favorite author and pretend BFF, Jen Lancaster, ( www.jennsylvania.com )will be in town for a booksigning in less than a month. All together now: SQUEEEEEEEE!! I need to find a strand of pearls to wear with my Faux-lo shirt, I say that because I? Can't afford a real Polo shirt. I also need to go to Sprinkles and buy her a cupcake.

Um, what else? Oh! I am taking a mini-vacay around Memorial Day weekend to spend 2 days tooling around the lovely town of Tyler, Texas with J. That weekend is the THE weekend. Where he meets my dad. (Again, EEK) At any rate, I figured it might be fun to do all sorts of coupley things beforehand. The Tyler Rose Garden, where I hope to get our first picture of us as a couple, the tiger refugee camp, nice dinners and maybe go see all the azaleas. Or perhaps we'll just hole up in the hotel and make out :)

That's about it for now.

Oh, P.S. - I guess I should clarify that I really have not nor do I actually plan to, take a hostage or stomp puppies. I'm hormonal, not maniacally insane :)