Wednesday, August 4, 2010

LIFE: Where I've re-connected with an old flame

Anyone remember, J?  My cop ex-boyfriend?  Yep.  We're talking again.  I know, right?  Weird. 

See, what had happened wuz...

Way back right around Christmas, I was in a funky funk.  I was depressed and hormonal and single and sad.  I had been thinking about him so I decided to email him and tell him so.  He replies back a week or two later and says, much to my surprise, that he'd been thinking about me too.  Wha?  Srsly?  So, I tell him that I would to talk and catch up and call me sometime.  That was January 4th.

Fast forward to the morning of July 30th and there it was.  Just sitting in my inbox.  An email from him.  He'd written to let me know that he was going to be in a nearby town and would I maybe like to meet up.  After I finally closed my wide opened jaw, I decided to text him later and tell him yes, I would like to meet up.  I mean, why not?  It's been over a year since we broke up, it should be fine.  Right?

Well.  It was fine.  Except I didn't meet up with him the night he had emailed.  Instead, it was on Saturday night when I felt compelled to drive an hour and a half to see him.  Without telling him I was coming until I was almost there, by the way.  He told me to go to the police station and he'd meet me there.  So I did.  And he did.  What happened next is still kind of hard for me to wrap my brain around.  I was nervous.  He hugged me.  We talked and caught up for a few and I went riding around with him like I used to and really caught up with the chit chat then.  It was weird but kind of nice.  There was no awkard "why did you break up with me?" talk or anything like that.  I think we were genuinely happy to see each other.  Then, the big kicker at the end of the night?  He says, out of the blue, "I need to do something".  I thought he meant related to work.  Oh no.  He turns, grabs me and wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for what seemed like, well, forever.  It was sweet.  Then...we might have made out like a couple of high school kids.  But he started it!  He totally kissed me first!  But it was different.  He was so sweet about it and just being, well, almost borderline "romantic", or as romantic one can get in a small town police station at 2 in the morning.  (God, how country am I?)  I know I sound totally gross sharing all that but I'm telling you, it was different.  There was something about him that was different. 

Anyway, we finally stopped making out and I had to get on the road to home.  It was after 3am and I had to drive over an hour home.  He made me promise him I'd be careful and to let him know when I got home and I did all that.  Then we talked briefly Sunday night and when I told him that it was still kind of weird that all that happened, he said "if it wasn't meant to happen, it wouldn't have".  But what exactly happened?  What was he referring to?  What was "it"?  The kissing?  Me coming to see him after all this time?  Who knows.  I'm not sure what will come of all this.  I just plan on taking it day by day.  If it comes down to us possibly getting back together, we will have to talk about things first but I suppose I should wait and see if it comes to that.

On that long-winded note, I am headed to bed.  Melissa out!