LIFE: Where I bought myself a BIG birthday present

I'm crazy.

Yesterday was my 36th birthday.  I decided to go "look" at cars.  I need a new one desperately and was going to do it soon but didn't truly think it would happen on my actual birthday.  But it did.

After a loooong day and process, I left the Hyundai dealership in a "used" 2008 Sonata. 

It's a pretty pewter grey/silver.  I freaking love this car.  It's a fully loaded V6 with a sunroof.  So quiet, you cannot hear the engine, it's that quiet.  No leather but that's OK by me because I prefer cloth.  I got a steal of a deal on it, thanks to my pal Jen who was my "talker"  :-)  So now the fun begins...I get to re-budget my finances to fit in a $300 car payment and full coverage insurance.  Things are gonna be LEAN for a while.  But, I deserve it.  I think anyway.  But now I don't have a car that people laugh at or my friends make fun of because the belts squeal. 

Happy Birthday to me!

P.S. - I have awesome friends too, btw.  I got a ton of Facebook and other online happy birthday wishes and I love them all for 'em!  I am truly blessed :)

LIFE: Where I am feeling a bit blue

I can feel it coming on.

My wintertime/Christmas "I'm single and all alone with no one to kiss under the mistletoe" depression. I've been ignoring it but it's getting harder and harder to keep on ignoring it. All my potential guy prospects never panned out, it was a few dates and it was over and the one remaining eligible guy has decided to "date" this nasty junkie looking girl from his past who looks like she smells bad. So even if he did ask me out or whatever, I think I'd have to say no and ick. Sad thing is, this guy is great and could have any woman he wanted. So why does he have to go back in time with her when he could look to the future with me (or someone else who bathes and is without track marks on her arm?)

Anyway, I should just focus on me right? Forget about men/guys/boys and just keep busy with doing for me? Sounds easy but I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't be so easy. It sucks though becuase it's almost like everyone around me is suddenly coupled up or freaking engaged. That really sucks. I feel like it's everyone but me. Poor poor pitiful me. (Thanks you Linda Ronstadt)

Oh well. It is what it is. I will try really super hard to forget about the opposite sex and become selfish and work on me.

P.S. - pathetic to ask for a month long Match.com or EHarmony membership for Christmas? Yeah, I thought so too...

LIFE: Where I blog again

I am going to try and start blogging again. Or trying to remember to blog again. Not that anyone reads it but still...

Now, once I figure out what to blog about, I'll be back.

(how many of you, if anyone is actually reading this, said "I'll be back" like The Terminator? I did.)

LIFE: Where it's the same song & dance

Once again, in the relationship department, it looks as if I am going to crash and burn. Shot down yet again. And I'm spending the weekend with him and 2 friends at the lake. I'm doing this knowing it's not going anywhere. It is what it is and at least I get a weekend out of town and some quaint small town time out of the deal. Oh well. Whatever. I wasn't seeing "it" with this guy anyway, I just don't think it's there but the fact that *I* am not "the direction he's headed" still sucks because it makes me think it's ME. That *I* am not good enough. Deep down, I know I am, for someone, but where the hell is he already?

LIFE: Where I'm sad today

My friend Kim Taylor suffered the worse loss imaginable for a parent and I am so sad for her. Kim, I am thinking of you and your family and sending my love and prayers to you.

LIFE: Where I am ready for summer!

Well...I say I am.

Let it get up to 100 degrees + and ask me again. But dang it, I am ready for sunshine. Laying out by the pool. Playing water volleyball. Cooking out. Drinking cold beer. Wait, I do that now, never mind. But yes...I am ready. The weather has been teasing us. One day it's 82 and the next it's 60. But, that's Texas for you. It's also our storm season. This time 2 years ago, we were in the basement of Half Price Books trying to dodge a tornado. We haven't had any real bad stuff and God willing, we won't but watch...now that I've said something, we totally will.

Anywho...

I had a blast in Mississippi (see previous post) and it was beyond awesome to see old friends again and just relax. I love Jackson and could totally live there except for that pesky 6 hour trip between here and there. If I could just be all "I Dream of Jeanie" and *POOF!*, be there, I'd totally commute.

Other than that, not much has changed. Love life is still non-freaking existant. But I'm gonna try like hell to change that in the coming months. "D" is way done. I am so over him. He is even kind of slacking in the friend department so there's that. Oh well. C'est la vie!

Until next time...

LIFE: Where I update the internets...

Hi Internets!

I haven't blogged lately because my life has been somewhat un-blog-worthy. Nothing to write about and all that. Life sort of stalled out on me.

However...things are different now.

I had knee surgery like, 6 weeks ago and I am recovering quite nicely. I had cartilage repaired and my ACL replaced and for the first 2 weeks, I truly thought I'd be gimpy forever but I can see now that I won't be. But yeah, at first? It SUCKED! It hurt so freaking bad. I was in a brace and on crutches and felt like I couldn't do anything for myself. That was when I discovered how great my friends are. Stephanie came with me for surgery and stayed with me for 2 days. Her 15 y/o daughter, my rental kid, stayed with me for 3 more and the whole time they were here, my friend-neighbors were here a lot. Including D (see prior posts below). He was so good to me, they all were. They hung out with me, brought me food, moved my knee machine all over and even bought certain For Girls Only products at the store. I am loved.

Speaking of D. I am in a new place with him. We are becoming great friends and I love it. We are sort of Will and Grace-ish but without the whole "he likes boys" factor. Or better yet, we are Julia Roberts & Dermot Mulroney in "My Best Friend's Wedding". I might have acted kind of jackass-y Friday night but I let his roomies, K&T (my other aforementioned friend-neighbors) know that I felt bad and was embarrased by my behavior and if I know them, they will let him know, therefore letting him know that he has nothing to worry about. I will not act that way again. I just don't want to screw our friendship up.

AND!

I'M GOING TO MISSISSIPPI!!!!!!!!!! Jackson to be precise. For the St. Paddy's Day parade and party. In 2 & 1/2 days!!! This time on Thursday, I will be sharing cocktails with friends I haven't seen in like, THREE YEARS! I am beyond excited and simply cannot wait until I am there. It's all I can think about :D

LIFE: Where he just not that into me

And it sucks.

I didn't get totally dissed by D but I may as well have. He's "not looking for a relationship right now" which we all know is code for "He's just not that into me". But what pisses me off is that he's been all about acting like he was or could have been. And what pisses me off even more is that I fell for it. I admit, I probably read way more into it all than I should have but he needs to lay off the mixed signals. Quit choosing to ride in my car, go with someone else. Quit getting me on the dance floor and telling me that you like dancing slower with me. Quit playing with my hair. Quit hugging me when I least expect it. Quit being so charmy and cute because you make it very difficult to be "just friends".

I swear I just turned 35 but I feel like a ridiculous teenager and I hate it. So right now, for the next few days, I'm gonna be bummed out and depressed but after that? I'm over it. Eventually, he will realize what he's missing out on and it may very well be too late.