Just when I thought I had made it through another holiday relatively unscathed...
Someone got engaged and it wasn't me.
I know J & I have only been back together for almost 5 months but still, a girl can't help but wonder if and it will ever happen. I should have asked Santa for patience this Christmas because clearly, I am out.
Now can we just fast forward to New Years Day or even the day after?
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
LIFE: Where I hate
Seriously. I am hating a lot of things. Some are real and some are fluff but I am over them all the same.
I hate traffic and commuting. I hate living in the "Dallas" area. Dallas sucks. Yeah there are a million and one things to do and yes, more malls and restaurants than the entire state of probably, well...I don't know, pick a state.
I hate being broke. Yes, I needed a car but not necessarily the car payment. I am not famous so I can't just get a car nor do I have a sugar daddy that will buy me one. The car payment is eating up a lot of what was my "play money". Not to mention a higher cost of gas because the tank is bigger.
I hate that my nails all decided to break and since cutting them off, they don't seem to be re-growing.
I hate that Jimmie Johnson is positioned to win his 5th straight NASCAR championship. Enough already. We get it. You're good. It's time to share the wealth.
I hate that my insurance costs will be higher in 2011.
I hate that I found out this week that a guy I knew in high school that was dearly loved by everyone, was killed, it seems like, at the hands of his girlfriend. If he was the Popcorn I knew in HS, there would be absolutely no reason for that but I have to wonder, in this day and age, in the last 20 years, if he had gotten into a life that wasn't so good. Did something happen to make him a different Popcorn?
I hate that the Texas Rangers are not yet headed to the World Series.
I hate living so far away from J. Things are going really good with us and I just wish we could spend more time together. He mentioned me moving out there closer to him and while I think it's insane (I mean, dude still hasn't met my mom or best friend), I got to thinking...there's nothing saying I can't move a little closer to him, say, to a town about 30 minutes from him and not quite as far from home. You know, for myself. To "start over" if you will. A smaller town. A slower pace. A shorter commute. A new place to explore. Possibly with the one person I know that lives there. Why not? I mean, I'm not totally convinced but I sure am thinking about it. It might be crazy but it might be a good thing. I am still chewing on it. It would entail finding a job and an apartment and doing it all in order. I mean, do I find a job first and hope I find an apartment? Or apartment first then a job? How do I know what to do when?
I also hate that I could probably keep blogging but I won't because frankly, it's depressing. I need to "suck it up, buttercup!" and figure out ways to change things I hate into things I like or at least change them enough to take them off the list :)
Adios!!
Melissa
P.S. - Hopefully Friday night, I can come back here and blog about loving the fact that the Rangers ARE headed to the World Series.
I hate traffic and commuting. I hate living in the "Dallas" area. Dallas sucks. Yeah there are a million and one things to do and yes, more malls and restaurants than the entire state of probably, well...I don't know, pick a state.
I hate being broke. Yes, I needed a car but not necessarily the car payment. I am not famous so I can't just get a car nor do I have a sugar daddy that will buy me one. The car payment is eating up a lot of what was my "play money". Not to mention a higher cost of gas because the tank is bigger.
I hate that my nails all decided to break and since cutting them off, they don't seem to be re-growing.
I hate that Jimmie Johnson is positioned to win his 5th straight NASCAR championship. Enough already. We get it. You're good. It's time to share the wealth.
I hate that my insurance costs will be higher in 2011.
I hate that I found out this week that a guy I knew in high school that was dearly loved by everyone, was killed, it seems like, at the hands of his girlfriend. If he was the Popcorn I knew in HS, there would be absolutely no reason for that but I have to wonder, in this day and age, in the last 20 years, if he had gotten into a life that wasn't so good. Did something happen to make him a different Popcorn?
I hate that the Texas Rangers are not yet headed to the World Series.
I hate living so far away from J. Things are going really good with us and I just wish we could spend more time together. He mentioned me moving out there closer to him and while I think it's insane (I mean, dude still hasn't met my mom or best friend), I got to thinking...there's nothing saying I can't move a little closer to him, say, to a town about 30 minutes from him and not quite as far from home. You know, for myself. To "start over" if you will. A smaller town. A slower pace. A shorter commute. A new place to explore. Possibly with the one person I know that lives there. Why not? I mean, I'm not totally convinced but I sure am thinking about it. It might be crazy but it might be a good thing. I am still chewing on it. It would entail finding a job and an apartment and doing it all in order. I mean, do I find a job first and hope I find an apartment? Or apartment first then a job? How do I know what to do when?
I also hate that I could probably keep blogging but I won't because frankly, it's depressing. I need to "suck it up, buttercup!" and figure out ways to change things I hate into things I like or at least change them enough to take them off the list :)
Adios!!
Melissa
P.S. - Hopefully Friday night, I can come back here and blog about loving the fact that the Rangers ARE headed to the World Series.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
LIFE: Where I've re-connected with an old flame
Anyone remember, J? My cop ex-boyfriend? Yep. We're talking again. I know, right? Weird.
See, what had happened wuz...
Way back right around Christmas, I was in a funky funk. I was depressed and hormonal and single and sad. I had been thinking about him so I decided to email him and tell him so. He replies back a week or two later and says, much to my surprise, that he'd been thinking about me too. Wha? Srsly? So, I tell him that I would to talk and catch up and call me sometime. That was January 4th.
Fast forward to the morning of July 30th and there it was. Just sitting in my inbox. An email from him. He'd written to let me know that he was going to be in a nearby town and would I maybe like to meet up. After I finally closed my wide opened jaw, I decided to text him later and tell him yes, I would like to meet up. I mean, why not? It's been over a year since we broke up, it should be fine. Right?
Well. It was fine. Except I didn't meet up with him the night he had emailed. Instead, it was on Saturday night when I felt compelled to drive an hour and a half to see him. Without telling him I was coming until I was almost there, by the way. He told me to go to the police station and he'd meet me there. So I did. And he did. What happened next is still kind of hard for me to wrap my brain around. I was nervous. He hugged me. We talked and caught up for a few and I went riding around with him like I used to and really caught up with the chit chat then. It was weird but kind of nice. There was no awkard "why did you break up with me?" talk or anything like that. I think we were genuinely happy to see each other. Then, the big kicker at the end of the night? He says, out of the blue, "I need to do something". I thought he meant related to work. Oh no. He turns, grabs me and wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for what seemed like, well, forever. It was sweet. Then...we might have made out like a couple of high school kids. But he started it! He totally kissed me first! But it was different. He was so sweet about it and just being, well, almost borderline "romantic", or as romantic one can get in a small town police station at 2 in the morning. (God, how country am I?) I know I sound totally gross sharing all that but I'm telling you, it was different. There was something about him that was different.
Anyway, we finally stopped making out and I had to get on the road to home. It was after 3am and I had to drive over an hour home. He made me promise him I'd be careful and to let him know when I got home and I did all that. Then we talked briefly Sunday night and when I told him that it was still kind of weird that all that happened, he said "if it wasn't meant to happen, it wouldn't have". But what exactly happened? What was he referring to? What was "it"? The kissing? Me coming to see him after all this time? Who knows. I'm not sure what will come of all this. I just plan on taking it day by day. If it comes down to us possibly getting back together, we will have to talk about things first but I suppose I should wait and see if it comes to that.
On that long-winded note, I am headed to bed. Melissa out!
See, what had happened wuz...
Way back right around Christmas, I was in a funky funk. I was depressed and hormonal and single and sad. I had been thinking about him so I decided to email him and tell him so. He replies back a week or two later and says, much to my surprise, that he'd been thinking about me too. Wha? Srsly? So, I tell him that I would to talk and catch up and call me sometime. That was January 4th.
Fast forward to the morning of July 30th and there it was. Just sitting in my inbox. An email from him. He'd written to let me know that he was going to be in a nearby town and would I maybe like to meet up. After I finally closed my wide opened jaw, I decided to text him later and tell him yes, I would like to meet up. I mean, why not? It's been over a year since we broke up, it should be fine. Right?
Well. It was fine. Except I didn't meet up with him the night he had emailed. Instead, it was on Saturday night when I felt compelled to drive an hour and a half to see him. Without telling him I was coming until I was almost there, by the way. He told me to go to the police station and he'd meet me there. So I did. And he did. What happened next is still kind of hard for me to wrap my brain around. I was nervous. He hugged me. We talked and caught up for a few and I went riding around with him like I used to and really caught up with the chit chat then. It was weird but kind of nice. There was no awkard "why did you break up with me?" talk or anything like that. I think we were genuinely happy to see each other. Then, the big kicker at the end of the night? He says, out of the blue, "I need to do something". I thought he meant related to work. Oh no. He turns, grabs me and wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for what seemed like, well, forever. It was sweet. Then...we might have made out like a couple of high school kids. But he started it! He totally kissed me first! But it was different. He was so sweet about it and just being, well, almost borderline "romantic", or as romantic one can get in a small town police station at 2 in the morning. (God, how country am I?) I know I sound totally gross sharing all that but I'm telling you, it was different. There was something about him that was different.
Anyway, we finally stopped making out and I had to get on the road to home. It was after 3am and I had to drive over an hour home. He made me promise him I'd be careful and to let him know when I got home and I did all that. Then we talked briefly Sunday night and when I told him that it was still kind of weird that all that happened, he said "if it wasn't meant to happen, it wouldn't have". But what exactly happened? What was he referring to? What was "it"? The kissing? Me coming to see him after all this time? Who knows. I'm not sure what will come of all this. I just plan on taking it day by day. If it comes down to us possibly getting back together, we will have to talk about things first but I suppose I should wait and see if it comes to that.
On that long-winded note, I am headed to bed. Melissa out!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
LIFE: Where I want to meet an Olympian
So I follow Misty May-Treanor on Facebook. You know who she is right? Two-time Olympic gold medalist in beach volleyball? She is made of awesome. Anyway, she is having a clinic in San Antonio in October and normally, volleyball clinics are for younger folks but NOT THIS TIME. There is one for adults. That would be me! Score!! But now I need to come up with a spare $125 to pay for it. $125 on top of paying for my part of the beach condo for our All Girls Beach Vacation, rent, other bills and the single girls groceries. Not too easy. Do they still pay for plasma?
But seriously. How freaking cool would it be to get tips and pointers from her? An actual Olympian and one of the best female volleyball players EVER. I'm not in a super competitive league, I just play in a co-ed church league but if I got to play with Misty May-Treanor? You can bet I'd use that as a selling point to try and find a competitive team to play with! I have GOT to think of something! I need to do this.
TTYL, internets!
But seriously. How freaking cool would it be to get tips and pointers from her? An actual Olympian and one of the best female volleyball players EVER. I'm not in a super competitive league, I just play in a co-ed church league but if I got to play with Misty May-Treanor? You can bet I'd use that as a selling point to try and find a competitive team to play with! I have GOT to think of something! I need to do this.
TTYL, internets!
Monday, June 7, 2010
LIFE: Where I hope to date
So I finally did it. I joined an online dating site. EHarmony to be exact. I paid $60! for a months time of THEM trying to find ME someone to date or "connect with". I hope it's worth it. I'd like to get a little something for money, a little bang for my buck so to speak. And by "something" and "little bang", I mean dinner or coffee, you dirty dirty minded people.
I just need to suck it up and put myself out there more. I am tired of being single but more than that, I am tired of being single, bitching about it but not really doing anything to change it. I honestly don't think that my Mr. Right is just gonna drop out of the sky into my life, ya know? So, here we are. Online dating. Plus, I kind of want a certain someone, who refuses to look at me as anything more than a FWB, to squirm a little.
So internets world and anyone who reads this, wish me luck. Shake dem chicken bones, do a dance or whatever it takes to get me a date!!
I just need to suck it up and put myself out there more. I am tired of being single but more than that, I am tired of being single, bitching about it but not really doing anything to change it. I honestly don't think that my Mr. Right is just gonna drop out of the sky into my life, ya know? So, here we are. Online dating. Plus, I kind of want a certain someone, who refuses to look at me as anything more than a FWB, to squirm a little.
So internets world and anyone who reads this, wish me luck. Shake dem chicken bones, do a dance or whatever it takes to get me a date!!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
LIFE: Where I ramble
I need to blog more. Not that anyone reads it but sometimes, it's a good outlet for thoughts and feelings I don't need the entire world of Facebook or something knowing. The few people I know that read me from time to time are OK but practically my entire family and one person in particular that I need to sort of vent about? Not so much.
Anywho...
On the personal front? Same old thing. Still looking for Mr. Right and am baffled over Mr. Right Now. He's confusing me and I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with it. I have decided that having a Mr. Right Now is completely overrated. Most of the time, I am 100% OK with being single but then those moments, the ones that make it glaringly and painfully obvious that you are single, happen. Like 3 different cousins getting engaged/married and getting the info via a surprise invitation in the mail and status & relationship changes on freaking Facebook. I guess I'm going to have to really kick it up a notch.
What else? I'm trying like heck to drop weight and it sucks and it's struggle but right now? It's working. Since the beginning of April, I am down like, 13 pounds or something. All the walking and all the volleyball is finally starting to pay off. It also helps that I have a new WW leader that totally gets me and we had a Come To Jesus type talk and it helped immensely. She is my personal Jillian (from The Biggest Loser) minus all the sadistic workouts. I am 11 pounds from a HUGE personal goal I have and I need it to happen. So wish me luck whoever might see this!!
OK internets, until then...
Anywho...
Not much has gone on since my last post. We have planned 2 trips though. We are Guadalupe River bound for the 4th of July! I cannot wait to plop my big bootie down in my tube and float the day away. One hand on my tube and the other on cans of Bud Light! Come on July:
Our second trip? GULF SHORES/ORANGE BEACH ALABAMA!! The pisser of course, is A.) it's not until October and B.) the damn oil catastrophe. I am praying hard that they can get it covered/closed very soon so they can start the process of getting my precious Gulf's water cleaned up.
On the personal front? Same old thing. Still looking for Mr. Right and am baffled over Mr. Right Now. He's confusing me and I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with it. I have decided that having a Mr. Right Now is completely overrated. Most of the time, I am 100% OK with being single but then those moments, the ones that make it glaringly and painfully obvious that you are single, happen. Like 3 different cousins getting engaged/married and getting the info via a surprise invitation in the mail and status & relationship changes on freaking Facebook. I guess I'm going to have to really kick it up a notch.
What else? I'm trying like heck to drop weight and it sucks and it's struggle but right now? It's working. Since the beginning of April, I am down like, 13 pounds or something. All the walking and all the volleyball is finally starting to pay off. It also helps that I have a new WW leader that totally gets me and we had a Come To Jesus type talk and it helped immensely. She is my personal Jillian (from The Biggest Loser) minus all the sadistic workouts. I am 11 pounds from a HUGE personal goal I have and I need it to happen. So wish me luck whoever might see this!!
OK internets, until then...
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
LIFE: Where I want take trips!
I want to start planning a trip. An all girls trip with friends and my sisters. But I'm torn. I would love to go back to NYC and this time, with my friend Cindy in tow. I really think she would like it. See, she is a musical girl and can sometimes be all about a show and singing and stuff, so I think taking her to Broadway and seeing Chicago or something would rock her face off. Mine too since we didn't get to see a show in October. And it's New York. Central Park. Times Square. Awesome bridges and all that. I really think she would like it. And it can totally be done way cheaper than people imagine I think. I gotta work on her :) But look, don't these cool pics make you want to go?
Then, I kind of like the idea of Vegas. Everyone I know has been saying we need to go. It's supposed to be all kinds of fun. We could gamble, walk around, drink fancy drinks, see a show and just be crazy girls. This looks like fun, yes?
But then there's the beach...ahh, the beach. My oldest sister doesn't love the beach so it would take some convincing to get her there I think. The beach we want to go to is a 12 hour drive for us at best but I think it's totally worth it. I just have to convince her that she will have a good time despite the sand and the wind. I mean, who wouldn't love to spend 3 days here:
And for anyone wondering, my oldest sister has to go. Her birthday is the weekend we are wanting to go somewhere and by the time this trip gets here, she will be well in need of a getaway.
But meanwhile, I am planning my weekend getaways for the summer. I plan on going back to the Guadalupe River for Memorial Day and July 4th with my friends to go tubing . Or "toobing" as the locals say. Three days of camping, cooking out, tubing. On this river:
Come on summer!!
But then there's the beach...ahh, the beach. My oldest sister doesn't love the beach so it would take some convincing to get her there I think. The beach we want to go to is a 12 hour drive for us at best but I think it's totally worth it. I just have to convince her that she will have a good time despite the sand and the wind. I mean, who wouldn't love to spend 3 days here:
And for anyone wondering, my oldest sister has to go. Her birthday is the weekend we are wanting to go somewhere and by the time this trip gets here, she will be well in need of a getaway.
But meanwhile, I am planning my weekend getaways for the summer. I plan on going back to the Guadalupe River for Memorial Day and July 4th with my friends to go tubing . Or "toobing" as the locals say. Three days of camping, cooking out, tubing. On this river:
Come on summer!!
Friday, February 12, 2010
LIFE: Where I'm posting random things like...
Like I have almost spent my entire tax refund. Crazy how I can get with some extra money. But I did pay some bills so I was sort of responsible. But I did things I don't get to do a lot like take my rental kids bowling to the tune of $50! Dude, $5.50 a game per person and $4.00 for shoes per person. JEEZ! And I bought 2 pairs of tennis shoes, one fancy pair of Shox and a regular pair for the gym and volleyball. I bought groceries and didn't have to worry about how much I was spending and it was nice.
Like that since I'm (still) single, I am my own Valentine and I am getting a massage Saturday afternoon. An hour and a half long massage and I cannot wait. My back is super sore from all this volleyball I've been playing and all my gym time. Also? I deserve it. Period.
Like the fact that we had record breaking snowfall in the Dallas area. Over a foot in some places. It literally snowed for more than 24 hours straight with no breaks. It was breathtaking and it has beem stunning to see things around town. And the best part? The streets did not freeze. At all. But it has been lovely to have this snow. See?
Well, that's about it. I'm done being random.
Like that since I'm (still) single, I am my own Valentine and I am getting a massage Saturday afternoon. An hour and a half long massage and I cannot wait. My back is super sore from all this volleyball I've been playing and all my gym time. Also? I deserve it. Period.
Like the fact that we had record breaking snowfall in the Dallas area. Over a foot in some places. It literally snowed for more than 24 hours straight with no breaks. It was breathtaking and it has beem stunning to see things around town. And the best part? The streets did not freeze. At all. But it has been lovely to have this snow. See?
Well, that's about it. I'm done being random.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
LIFE: Where I thought I had re-connected...
Well that didn't last long. The whole re-connection with Josh thing.
So we all know I emailed him and he emailed me back. Then I replied to that one and gave him my phone number (since he probably long ago deleted it) and said I'd love to catch up sometime. That was 8 days ago.
Perhaps when he told me he had been thinking about me too he meant "I've been thinking about you too lately...thinking about how much I hate you and continue to stick pins in your custom made to look just like you voodoo doll".
I suppose there is always a chance he'll call or write but I'm not holding my breath. Oh well. Que sera sera. (is that how you spell it?)
So we all know I emailed him and he emailed me back. Then I replied to that one and gave him my phone number (since he probably long ago deleted it) and said I'd love to catch up sometime. That was 8 days ago.
Perhaps when he told me he had been thinking about me too he meant "I've been thinking about you too lately...thinking about how much I hate you and continue to stick pins in your custom made to look just like you voodoo doll".
I suppose there is always a chance he'll call or write but I'm not holding my breath. Oh well. Que sera sera. (is that how you spell it?)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
LIFE: Where I re-connected with an old flame
Let me begin by saying I use the term "re-connected" loosely.
Yes, a couple of days after Christmas, in a weak moment inspired by the holidays, single-dom depression and PMS, I emailed Josh. My ex-boyfriend from a a year or so ago. "WHAT?" you ask? "You mean the one that lived 2 hours away and worked all the time and didn't have time for you?" Yep, that's the one. It was the holidays! (we met 2 years ago right before Christmas so it was natural that I thought of him, right?) The PMS made me do it! The lack of mind-altering drugs caused this! Those are my stories and I'm sticking to them. So yeah, I emailed him. Just to say hey and just to see how he was and to let him know I had been thinking about him. And yes, you probably don't want to hear from me and I will shut my pie hole now as you are probably already irritated. That was pretty much the gist of it.
Then days go by. Like, 7 days. I assumed he deleted it. Or read it and ignored it. Or read it and then deleted it.
Then yesterday, my hotmail account punched me in the face because there it was...his reply. A reply for which I was NOT prepared to actually see in my inbox nor read. He told me it was good to hear from me and that he was, in fact, not irritated. He even apologized for taking so long to respond. Then the big one... He said he had been thinking about me too. Cue the record scratch, dude.
Huh? So not the response I expected. But there it was. Wow. I was stunned. But then it could just be BS. He said it because I said it. He was being nice. Something like that. But what if he wasn't? What if he meant it? I left it alone and replied that all was well with me and was he still with the same police department and that my number is the same but here it is again just in case and you should call me so we can catch up.
Damn. I told him to call me. What if he does?
I need a keeper. Someone to prevent this sort of craziness.
TTFN! ("Ta Ta For Now")
Yes, a couple of days after Christmas, in a weak moment inspired by the holidays, single-dom depression and PMS, I emailed Josh. My ex-boyfriend from a a year or so ago. "WHAT?" you ask? "You mean the one that lived 2 hours away and worked all the time and didn't have time for you?" Yep, that's the one. It was the holidays! (we met 2 years ago right before Christmas so it was natural that I thought of him, right?) The PMS made me do it! The lack of mind-altering drugs caused this! Those are my stories and I'm sticking to them. So yeah, I emailed him. Just to say hey and just to see how he was and to let him know I had been thinking about him. And yes, you probably don't want to hear from me and I will shut my pie hole now as you are probably already irritated. That was pretty much the gist of it.
Then days go by. Like, 7 days. I assumed he deleted it. Or read it and ignored it. Or read it and then deleted it.
Then yesterday, my hotmail account punched me in the face because there it was...his reply. A reply for which I was NOT prepared to actually see in my inbox nor read. He told me it was good to hear from me and that he was, in fact, not irritated. He even apologized for taking so long to respond. Then the big one... He said he had been thinking about me too. Cue the record scratch, dude.
Huh? So not the response I expected. But there it was. Wow. I was stunned. But then it could just be BS. He said it because I said it. He was being nice. Something like that. But what if he wasn't? What if he meant it? I left it alone and replied that all was well with me and was he still with the same police department and that my number is the same but here it is again just in case and you should call me so we can catch up.
Damn. I told him to call me. What if he does?
I need a keeper. Someone to prevent this sort of craziness.
TTFN! ("Ta Ta For Now")
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