I ended things with J. I wimped out and emailed him to do it. I could not do it over the phone. I can barely hold it together now, I can't imagine the train wreck I'd be on the phone.
But even though I know I have valid reasons and that it's better this way, I can't help but feel like an asshole because it's coming out of left field for him. I'm sure this is the last thing he expects from me. I need to not dwell on that though. I need to re-read the email and remember all the things he DIDN'T do. I need to be mad. I need to be cold and callous (thanks, Sis), I need to be a bitch about because although I'm sad now, I DESERVE BETTER.
I will talk to him at some point I hope. He needs to know that I truly care about him but we don't work as a couple anymore. He needs to know that when you go almost 3 months without seeing each other, for crappy reasons, it takes it's toll. He needs to know that when he puts going into a hurricane to earn some good money while my dad HAD to stay and ride it out for work and less money before me, it stings and it hurts.
He needs to know that I can no longer make him a priority in my life when I am just an option in his. (Thank you, Emily. I owe you a margarita and a bowl of white queso)
2 comments:
I don't have anything insightful to say-- just wanted to let you know I'm sending you hugs from here. Love, Kimmy
Yes you DO deserve better and I am sure you will find it.
Love, Sheila
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