LIFE: Where I'm torn

I don't know what to do about a boy.

It's not working for me anymore. I never see him. We don't talk as much as we used to and I just don't see any effort on his part to change it. If you cared about someone and didn't get to spend a lot of time with them, wouldn't you at least let that person know that it sucks you can't be with them everyday? Wouldn't you be bending over backwards to let that person know you miss them and things will change soon? I've tried to make an effort. I wanted to go see him but his work got in the way. Again. I know he loves his work but I'm tired of playing second fiddle to the badge and the gun. Plus, his schedule stinks. He works total opposite hours as me. So tack that on top of a 2 hour distance between us and it's no wonder it's not really working anymore. I keep thinking about what my smart friend Emily said once..."Don't make someone a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs". It has stuck with me ever since. It's so simple but yet extremely profound. I guess that's why they let her teach kids, she's a smart one.

Also? I met another boy. Nothing has come of it yet. (Key word there is "YET") I'm working on that . I need to see if I can turn what I think is a small spark into at least a campfire and if it turns into a campfire, I can kick the wood out of the way and make a gasoline trail to start a raging fire :)

So yeah. I'm torn. How do you end it? I've always been the dumpee, never the dumper. I don't want to hurt him but at this point, I wonder if he'd even care. Maybe we're both thinking the same thing and we're both too chickenshit to do it. I'm kind of wishing he'll do it first.

This sucks.

(On the upside, water volleyball should be this Saturday and hopefully, New Boy will be there)