So I saw Josh for the first time in I don't want to talk about it and it was, unfortunately, really good to see him. I say unfortunately because I am supposed to be mad at him. I want to be mad at him for being such a "guy" lately and I was mad until I saw him and he hugged me and took me to dinner. Jerk. How do they do that??
We had, as usual, a great time together and I found it hilarious how quickly he took to my old iPhone that is now his "new iTouch". He, at my direction, (and I know he secretly hated that I knew more than him about this), downloaded iTunes to his laptop because he can't do squat without it and got to getting addicted to his new toy. He figured out rather fast how to get rid of all my stuff on there and put his stuff on there. He has his own apps now, his own stupid boy type games (guns, deer hunting, etc.) and some that I had that he actually liked. He was browsing apps and said "There is an app for Target??" and I happily grabbed my phone, went to the 4th page of my apps and showed him that "yes, they do". He laughed at that and said he should've known. This went on for the next hour or so. Him trying to figure out how to get his music from his computer to the phone, me telling him what to do, him brushing me off and then him doing exactly what I tried telling him and him getting all happy when it worked. I was lying next to him saying things under my breath like "duh" and "hello?" and generally being a smarta$$ about it all and loving it :-)
We spent the next couple of hours just hanging out and being all cuddly and crap and it was fine and then he had to leave. Not good. I didn't want him to leave. I told him that. He didn't want to leave either but he had to. I tried to get him to stay, I even threatened to tie him down but I didn't have any rope. So much to my chagrin, he starts putting his socks and boots on and I started getting sad. Again, not good. So we head out to his truck and he comes around from the passenger side, walks to me and hugs me. That's when it started...I started crying. He asked me if I was OK and I told him no. I managed to squeak out "I hate this, I hate living apart from you" and I stopped at that because I was about to go into the ugly cry. He assured me things would get better, that it has been a really hard year for him (it has, I'll give him that), and everything will work out. I told him I didn't meant to go all Girl on him and he said it was OK, he hugged me again, I tried to not let go, he kissed me and then he got in the truck. For the 3rd time, not good. He knew I was not handling this well, he reached out, grabbed my hand, asked me if I was going to be OK and at that point, I could barely look at him so I nodded my head "yes" and that was about it because I could feel the ugly cry coming on again and I was trying to keep it together. I just looked at him, kissed him real quick and left it at that. I waited until I was back inside to unleash the ugly cry.
This morning? I woke up sad. I miss him. Badly. Damn it.